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7 reasons for breaking up

, by , Category: Love & Relationships

7 reasons for breaking up

What makes your relationship work or not? Take a few moments to consider just what you may be doing right or wrong.

Whether you are an optimist or a die-hard cynic, on the subject of relationships there is one thing we can all agree upon: they require a lot of hard work. If any proof of this is required, we need look no further than the incredibly high rate of marriage failure, which, in some estimates, is put at 50%.

Sadly, breakups are a fact of life, but we can reaffirm this eternal truth when such a painful experience occurs:

Relationships must be appreciated, worked on and learned from. 

That's easy to say, but obviously much more difficult to practice.

I like actress Julia Roberts’ comment: “I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn't matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.” 

Unfortunately, the reality is that life is not like that for most of us. Individual circumstances create various levels of stress that impact on a relationship. These include financial problems, personality clashes and boredom.

You may be surprised to discover that there are seven common reasons why once harmonious relationships fall apart. Making yourself aware of them will, hopefully, help to improve the quality of your relationships - and, ironically, make them long-lasting!


1. Lack of Clarity

Communication is vital and the most important thing in a relationship. You need to work your way through the muddle when there is recurring miscommunication.  All we need do is communicate exactly how we feel when we feel it. Seems easy…but it isn’t. (A chat with one of our psychics could help clear up some of your confusion, when you're at this point.)

2. Lack of Trust or Jealousy

If we don’t trust, it is toxic to us and to our partner. If we feel insecure, we must openly communicate. It is all about honesty. As Stephen Covey says:  “Trust is the glue of life. It's the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It's the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”


3. Selfishness. Control Issues. Broken Promises.

Focusing on our own needs and not thinking about the other person creates a dangerous imbalance. When a partner expresses a need for intimacy and understanding and is ignored, then we can create wounds that don't heal easily.


4. Lack of Effort.  Not Making the Relationship a Priority. Taking Each Other For Granted.

Not making your relationship a priority can be a source of great negativity. It’s important to make time and to listen to your partner - make him or her feel special. Research shows that doing things together makes the bind between couples stronger. 


5. Angry Outbursts and Rage.

It's easy to get stressed, but enraged screaming can do damage to a relationship. When an emotional situation has arisen and become overwrought, it;s important to take a break and get some space. 

6. Infidelity and Diminished Sexual Connection.

If the sex is not working, then there are serious problems that need to be confronted. Sex is about intimacy, and not just physical satisfaction. So ask yourself: why has desire for intimacy diminished? If you or your partner are finding sexual satisfaction from elsewhere, that's just a  way of avoiding an underlying problem that needs to be brought into the open. 

7. Emotional Distance. 

There’s nothing wrong with having a long distance relationship. But allowing emotional distance - a failure to properly communicate -  to build up, almost always leads to hurt and deep resentment.


Psychologists acknowledge that failed relationships are one of the biggest causes of stress and unhappiness in life.  We must therefore always make a serious effort  every day to maintain our loving relationships. And that effort must be seen, understood and appreciated by our partners.

Be kind and honest to each other. And listen as well as talk.

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