Addicted to Falling In Love
Ah, the feeling of falling in love! Meeting an attractive stranger can bring out all kinds of reactions such as: pounding heart, sweaty palms, intense lust, sleepless nights, non-stop thoughts about him/her, and being in touch with our inner sexiness. This quote from my book Insights for Singles: Steps to Find Everlasting Love describes the first stage of love:
The first six months are what I call the La La Land phase. This is what a lot of romantic novels, songs, and movies are based upon. Enjoy the courtship, nights out, and fun. You will eventually come back to reality.
Prisoner of romantic beginnings
Our Higher Source has brought this stage of love for humans and other beings of nature to become intoxicated with our potential mate; nonetheless, this is only to entice us to journey the steps into REAL love. Sadly, some people stay stuck at this junction. These are three following signs of a prisoner of romantic beginnings.
- Never having a relationship last longer than six months.
- Enter a new relationship before or upon exiting your last partnership.
- Encounter feelings of boredom when your union begins to become stable.
There are many reasons a person chooses to repeat this phase continuously; however, this is a serious addiction! As real of an addiction as: drugs, alcohol, food, or sex. La La Land brings out feelings of euphoria, although continuing the cycle brings about as much pain as any other addiction for the afflicted and their loved one.
Fear of rejection
These falling in love addicts will use many excuses to repeat the behavior. A song that has come up with clients who were with a man, who have this addiction and perhaps a sex addict, in my readings was “Ball and Chain” by Janis Joplin. If you’re too young to know who Janis Joplin is, please Google this rock icon to listen to her music.
A man may use the excuse that he doesn’t want to be tied down, yet he is also afraid to experience a true deepness with a woman. For what happens if he exposes who he truly is and she rejects him? It’s not just men who do this as this applies to women too.
Another excuse these love junkies use is I don’t want to be alone, in reality they’re desiring the love rush. Which is why their revolving relationship door is always open. Rather than discovering who they are, developing self-love, and being comfortable with by themselves – the addict will do anything to avoid this by using another person.
Lastly, an addict will use an unavailable love interest, such as a substance abuse addict or married man/woman to keep them in this vicious cycle of avoiding true intimacy (not sex) and a deep connection.
We humans often think that we are supposed to fall in love, although those types of relationships often are very dysfunctional to heal our wounds to enable us to evolve. You don’t fall in love, you GROW into love. Real love takes the risk of exposing who you are, loving your mate for who she/he is, and a lifetime of getting to know one another.
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Pamela Cummins is a relationship expert who teaches you how to empower yourself to empower your relationships. She is the author of four books, including Psychic Wisdom on Love and Relationships.