Life & Love, Top Stories

Choosing to be Single


Choosing to be Single

What is your relationship status? “Frankly, it is no one else’s business,” I sometimes say with a smile. Because it is not.

I have chosen to remain single for well over 18 years. I have absolutely no desire to change that. Not now, not ever. I am content. I am happy. I like being able to watch what I want on television and to be in control of the thermostat – well, except when my teenage granddaughter is visiting then it’s all hers. I like being able to come and go as I please and stay up all night in a completely dark house if I so choose.

I admit, these sound like rather dumb justifications, but they are only a few of the reasons I choose to be single. The main one: I simply do not see how a man would fit into my life. In all honesty, I have a very full life as it is with the devotion to my family and work.

Through my work, I am exposed daily to the relationship woes of many other people. Those issues range from cheating partners to a lack of commitment and to one’s chosen love interest not reciprocating their feelings as well as a wide range of issues in between.

As an Empath, I often *feel* the pain my clients are experiencing. I have counseled many women who are being physically abused as well as clients of both sexes being emotionally and verbally abused. I see these struggles and am so thankful for my own choice to be alone.

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There is a huge difference between being lonely and being alone. I am alone but I do not ever feel lonely. Sure, there are times when I desire to have someone to talk with but that’s when I pop open the old laptop and dash off a new 7th Sense story or get lost in Facebook.

As a part of the human resources department of 7th Sense, I interview potential new readers for the line. A large portion of these interviews is a brief reading on me. Invariably, the subject of my relationship status sometimes comes up. I often hear things like, “Well, you just haven’t met the right man yet,” or, “It’s not the right time.” I am told that Mr. Wonderful is waiting just around the corner and one applicant even flat out told me I was wrong for standing firm on remaining single. She tried to convince me that I am just making excuses rather than having valid reasons for choosing to be on my own.

There is no shame in choosing to be single. While coupling may seem like the logical thing to do, for some of us it simply is not that appealing. For me, it is not about sex or money or even love. It is simply about choosing to be my own person and doing my own thing … living life on my own terms.

Tamara’s Verdict

Whatever reasoning one has for being single is their own and it should not ever be questioned. Not everyone needs a “better half” in order to make themselves feel whole. Sure, Tom Cruise had many of us women swooning with his famous line in “Jerry Maguire”: “You complete me.” What woman would not love to hear that from someone like him? But that was a movie; fantasy. Whether you choose to share your life with a partner or to stand on your own, know that the decision is yours to make and you owe no other person an explanation. Just be you and be happy!

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  1. I agree. I chose to be on my own after celebrating my 43 wedding anniversary. Still friends but living apart. I decided that I did not want to compromise on so many things.

  2. I am 69 years old. I have been single since the early 80’s. I love being single for all the reasons above and some more. I am an artist and horse lover. Both take a lot of time. Time I totally enjoy. Once a long time ago there was one man I really loved…but not as much as being single. I’m retired now after a long career in the equine world. I still enjoy being around horses when I can, however I could stay in my apartment involved in art projects for a month and.never feel lonely.

  3. Tamara:

    I loved this article. I also choose to be single and I hear the same things that you have. People think I am strange and have even gone as far as asking if I am a lesbian. I am not and I have dear friends that are.

    I have to tell you, I was actually shocked and dismayed by the ignorance of that comment. I have had my share of failed relationships but I am not afraid of them. I simply choose to be alone, very much like yourself.

    It was refreshing to find someone that knows how I feel. Thank you for sharing.

  4. I’m filing for a divorce my husband has been very mentally abusive and controlling a and his money is his. He’s goes behind my back and does what he wants to do. I’m not aloud to talk to no one I get yelled at for making a comment on a post or pictures he says I’m communicating . He missed up our home loan my dad co signed for me so I would have a place to live. He’s not responsible he got tires on the truck they gave him a credit card he still has not paid for . For . He got fired the day we moved in. And thought it was funny. .he went and bought a motorcycle and was making payment. Always said he had no money I would go with out eating and I had to buy all the animals food and pay mortgage a Nd water and other bills he moved out of the room in may I got in trouble for talking to my aunt. I’ve been staying in the room. When I come out i get yelled soon as he comes home from work and my back is Turned he runs out the door and goes next door. He’s been trying to kiss my put by buying me little stuff. I got up Saturday and there was a letter and a card and a ring box taped to the card. I read the letter but did not touch the card or ring. I can’t live this way. I’m disabled . And fill like he used me he lived with his mom till he was 37 and when I left my ex husband and got my own place he just moved in. I should have never married him I did love him but he has hurt me bad and dune me wrong. I can’t even sleep.