Why We Defiantly Resist Change
With the new year upon us tomorrow, I felt it was time to talk about change. Now, no one likes change, in fact many hate change unless it is initiated by you with full self-awareness and you still hold your breath second guessing your decision. It could be your job, your hairstyle, your marriage, where you live or in general…YOUR LIFE!
But change is the name of the game in traversing through this journey we call life. We do it regardless as designed. Our bodies change from a tiny infant, toddler, young adult, middle age and then elderly.
Those are changes encoded within the human body that cannot be altered but we also have other designated changes imprinted in our life journey that take on form from one situation to another. Some we see coming from a mile away and use our procrastination skills and denial techniques, hoping it will not happen.
Then some changes blindside us without warning. Either way, ego is a nester and like a child, is unwilling to accept the inevitable even when it is right on top of you.
Blame our brains
Why do we humans resists change so much, and resist it so fervently? What is this deep-seeded fear that we have of the unknown? Why do we have such a pathological fear of change? For the real answer, we don’t look to the obvious psychological gurus, instead, we must look to science.
Specifically, we can BLAME OUR BRAINS! New research about our brains reveals exactly why change is so hard for us to achieve. Research into our neural network proves that telling your brain a change must be made without being able to show how to make that change sets off a PC hair-trigger connection to the amygdala, which causes us discomfort, pain, and yes, RESISTANCE.
But that need to resist change that we all have imprinted in our brains also forces us to grow, learn and adapt as we have since creation.
The resistance to change has always been based on a limited understanding of the how and why? We must then open ourselves to willingness and when we are willing to look at all the possibilities, we also become willing to accept that there is room for more than we can imagine. We can release ourselves from the grip we had on our emotions and stop limiting ourselves.
We may have been unwilling to experience feeling loss, confusion, fear, or even joy for some reason or another, but when we realize that our understanding is limited, we allow space for the universe to move in our lives.
Opening ourselves to willingness may feel like we are surrendering or abandoning all that we believed but at the same time, it is an act of power and courage because it is a conscious choice we make about how to apply our personal will. Being willing is to be in a state of willing something into creation.
It is at once allowing ourselves to be, while also choosing to direct our energy in a focused way. It is being and doing from a place of openness, where we can work with the universe rather than resist it. It is an open hand rather than one that is clenched into a fist.
10 Reasons We Resist Change
Here are some typical reasons why we resist change and then some pointers to help make those changes easier.
- Misunderstanding why there is a need for change. Being comfortable in familiar territory is human nature and if you cannot see that change will bring a better outcome, better to stay put.
- Fear of the unknown. When the future cannot be seen as a better way.
- Lack of competence to adjust or make it. This is a fear people will seldom admit to but is the biggest stopper of making change for the better. Yes, you will fall, fail and make bad choices but then you get up and try again.
- You do not trust in your own better choices. Sometimes we listen to others way too much when it comes to our own lives. Trust in your own instincts. Your gut and heart will tell you when change is right.
- Not gathering information or research. Being proactive bringing about change or knowing all your options stop many from changing their lives to the better.
- Poor communication about your options. If you are going to make a change in your life or one has been made, know all your options by asking, research and talking to others who have been through the same situation.
- Changes to your routines. When we talk about comfort zones we’re really referring to routines. We love them. They make us secure. So, there’s bound to be resistance whenever change requires us to do things differently
- Exhaustion from too many choices. Don’t mistake compliance for acceptance. People who are overwhelmed by continuous change resign themselves to it and go along with the flow. You are there in body, but your heart is not. Start with making a small change and go from there.
- What will others think of you. Making a change in your life that is all about you holds high resistance from others who have come to depend on you always being there for them. Expect that it is unlikely you will have their full support and learn how to be ok with the anger and the resentment.
- Using the art of procrastination. This happens when our goals are bigger than our energy levels, our time and even sometimes, our courage. When we look at something that at first seems so insurmountable, it’s easy just to stuff everything back into our closest and place our body weight against the door to shut it closed, again! This is when you have to find a reason to move towards that change, even if it is a grocery listed manifestation of how much better life could and will be if you just change SOMETHING!
Susan Z’s Verdict
We as a human species will never like change but are designed to continually live with it on our journey. The only way we can get more comfortable with the inevitable, is to become more comfortable within our own belief that whatever is thrown at us, we will be able to handle it because we know we are not doing it alone. I find when having to adapt to a new change, affirmation tracks and prayer help to give me courage to know that I will deal with whatever results come of those changes.
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Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine.