What to do when you and your partner have different love languages
We all speak several types of languages – speech, body and love. Our unique way of interpreting and expressing affection influences what we expect from our partner and what we want from our relationship. According to Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, there are several categories that you can fall into that best describes our love language.
The five love languages are
Words of affirmation: Hearing words that confirm or emphasize one another’s feelings
Physical touch: Preferring physical intimacy and closeness
Receiving gifts: Seeing presents as a symbol of love
Acts of service: Doing thoughtful things for each other
Quality time: Spending time together
Chances are you and your partner have differing love languages. So what do you do when your ideals on love clash? Is it time to catch a flight out of your relationship or fight for one another? Luckily, there are a few simple remedies that can help you to diffuse the tension and ensure that you are on the same page as your lover. Here’s what to do when you have different love languages.
Get fluent
The basis of any healthy relationship is having good communication skills and an understanding of one another. Knowing one another’s love language is a great way to form a foundation from which you can learn and grow together. Knowing how your partner gives and receives love will strengthen your relationship and tighten your bond.
Understand your partners love language and you’ll overcome barriers, identify the cause of your conflicts and find the secrets to love that lasts. It’s worth exploring to help you both shift your perspective and come to a mutual conclusion. This will benefit you both in the long run.
Leave out the guessing games
Though it may be fun when your partner spontaneously does something that makes you feel appreciated, the reality is that at times you may need to give them a nudge. Let your partner know when you want them to fulfil your love language needs and encourage your partner to do the same.
Unless your partner has some serious superpowers it’s safe to say that they’re not a mind reader. Open up the lines of communication and make your desires clear. It’s down to you to let your partner know the effort that you expect in a relationship, don’t leave them in the dark.
It’s OK to not have the same love language
Don’t feel as though you need to have the same love language for your relationship to thrive. It’s perfectly normal for couples to have different tastes, ideas and interests, your love languages are no different. One of you might be more cuddly while the other is more materialistic and prefers gifts as an expression of love – it’s natural to have contradictions and differences in your love languages.
There are many aspects that make you both individuals and they should be celebrated. It’s all about balance and learning how to be harmonious with one another in a respectful way. As long as you both put in the work and try to understand how the other chooses to love then your relationship will go the distance.
Compromise is key
One of the biggest lessons that love languages will teach you is the importance of compromise. It requires some give and take from both partners, though you won’t always get your own way you can manage your relationship better and ensure that you and your partner’s needs are attended to.
When you are in sync in your relationship you will gradually come to know when to make healthy sacrifices and take the right actions to guarantee that you and your lover are happy. Through compromise and a great understanding of each other’s love language, you can nurture and improve your relationship.
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