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How Do We Mend Our Broken Heart?

broken heart

How Do We Mend Our Broken Heart?

Ask any psychic, counselor or therapist and they will admittedly confess the majority of people they deal with are getting over a broken heart. Whether that heart was broken 10 years ago or yesterday, the hurt runs deep and brings up many questions of self-worth, abandonment and disappointment. If no one is immune to having their hearts broken in some way, what are the ways to heal your heart as quickly as possible?

A heart that has been broken and seen pain, amazingly enough, reveals what is within it and also makes a crack that allows more light in. Heartbreak happens to all of us and can hit us like a mac truck or slowly wash over us like heavy rain. When experiencing a broken heart, our ethereal selves are saturated with grief and the overflow is channeled into the physical body. Loss becomes a physical emptiness and longing is changed into a feeling that often cannot be put into words. Mending a broken heart can seem a task so monumental that we don’t even want to think about going there for fear of damaging ourselves further. But heartbreak, like all emotions, falls under accountability of how your heart got broken and then to do something about it.

Mending a broken heart is never easy and there is no quick way to stop your heart from hurting so much. To stop loving, is never an option. So how do we get beyond the pain? Doing a little research and drawing on information from my own clients, here are some suggestions that just might help you move on faster.

7 Tips to Fix a Broken Heart

  1. You have to feel it and go through it, not around it. You have to grieve in order to move on. By accepting that you are going through intense pain, you will eventually surface as a stronger person ready to tackle other problems head on. Facing the pain causes it to lose its stronghold over you.
  2. Detach from the pain and start facing forward. Do not go over the situation over and over and over and over again. Share, commiserate, grieve, laugh, cry and then every time you find yourself going down that rabbit hole of he did, he said….STOP! Find a way to fill the void by detachment. We are the only one who keeps ourselves bound in heartache. Start a simple mantra like: “I don’t need anyone or anything to make me happy” and then ask your higher power to give you the strength to heal and lift the pain.
  3. Find something that will make you laugh so hard, you cry. Laughter and tears are the way the body releases pent up emotions. A good belly laugh will remind your body what it feels like not to be sad. Emotional tears contain toxic biochemical byproducts, so crying removes these toxic substances and relieves emotional stress.
  4. Make a good and bad list. Instead of checking out his Facebook wall everyday looking for the photo of his gorgeous new girlfriend, make a list of what will make you feel good and a list that will make you feel like crap. Focus on the good list and when tempted to do one of not feel good things on that list, figure out a failsafe so you don’t. Why would you purposely do something to make yourself not feel good?
  5. Get physical at something. Working out your grief by running, swimming, dancing, exercising, walking, or Zumba is going to give you immediate relief. On a physiological level, exercise increases the activity of serotonin and stimulates brain chemicals that fosters growth of nerve cells on an emotional level.
  6. Create a new environment that does not include him. This is especially important if your mutual friends who have seen him in the last week feel the need to tell you about it. Create your own safe world that is filled with new friends who wouldn’t recognize him in a crowd and don’t know how to spell his name.
  7. Find new hope. Forgiveness is stronger than hate and fear. Forgiveness requires hope and a belief that a better place exists, that the aching emptiness experienced in your every activity won’t be with you forever. That day will come. You will wake up in the morning without the pit in your stomach and look forward to going to the movies with your friends or on a new date. Hope is believing that the sadness will one day be gone. In order to forgive and to move past fear, you need to find hope.

(READ: 5 Things You Need To Know When Dating Younger Men)

Susan Z’s Verdict

One of my favorite sayings when things have gone really south and hurt and disappointment are looming over the next day is: “This too shall pass.” And probably the most important thing to remember is that love always has a way of finding you more than once. Remember that you can love again and not dwell on the hurt and the feeling there will never be love in your life in the future.

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