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How Much Is Too Much When You Love Someone?

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How Much Is Too Much When You Love Someone?

Sometimes when you read for someone who is either in a current relationship or broken hearted about a lost one, as they continue to reveal some of the circumstances, being an energetic reader, I can literally see that all the love was pretty much going in one direction…to the person they wanted to be with.

The truth is, there really is no such thing as loving someone too much, for love is the only energy that creates joy and happiness in life. What is not true with that statement is called smothering insecure love which will definitely push the very thing you desire in your life away.

It is what I call in my counseling advice, the “Squirming Puppy Syndrome.” We all know how damn cute those little puppies are and we just want to squeeze and hold them all the time but if you hold them too tight or past their tolerance level, they WILL bite you and try to get away.

Smothering

The hardest thing for anyone to accept in loving someone is when you give that person sooooo much of your attention and they neglect you, pull away from you and ultimately leave you in order to breathe and feel free.

Smothering in reality, isn’t about love, but about your own selfishness. When you love someone, you want what’s best for that person, even if it means the relationship looks different from what you had in mind.

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When you are participating in smothering love, you prioritize your own needs for closeness or connection, as opposed to what the other person may want or need. This is one reason people can get scared away and run from a relationship.

To determine the difference between love and affection and to know if you’re pushing too much, consider these smothering signs.

  1. You don’t want to be alone and without him EVER!
  2. You always want reassurance of what future you two have together.
  3. You NEVER disagree with anything they say.
  4. You make sex a bargaining chip for everything.
  5. You like and do whatever they like, whether you are bored to death.
  6. You are ALWAYS available.
  7. You are in constant fear of losing them.
  8. If you have ever used the phrase, “If you loved me, you would” ……fill in the blanks.

If you feel any of the above emotions or have had the reactions, you are smothering, not loving. Here are some suggestions from the relationship experts to help bring your love around to a healthy partnership from one of smothering possession.

  1. Don’t expect an equal measure of love from your partner right from the start of the relationship. Love needs time to bloom.
  2. Stop saying “I love you” every two minutes. It makes everyone uncomfortable.
  3. Give your partner their own space. Allow them to remember they have a life without you.
  4. Sometimes, just say no. Don’t make yourself so available and always giving into what they want to do.
  5. Stop the constant cute tweets and/or phone calls. Expecting an update on their life every few hours is obsessive. Occupy your own time.
  6. Find the balance in your relationship between love, sex and friendship. If you want a relationship to work, you have to have it all. If one is extremely overbalanced, the other two which is also crucial in a relationship, will never have a chance to blossom.
  7. Don’t ever get TOO comfortable too quickly. Keep your relationship exciting where love is concerned. Use your imagination, buy books, videos and plenty of sexy lingerie. Spice it up once in awhile.
  8. Find the confidence within yourself of what you are hoping they will give you. Get rid of the attitude, “I am so happy you love me and are here with me” to “We are just so hot together!”
  9. Learn not to be easily threatened by outside influences. He is with you, keep it that way.
  10. Stop demanding all their attention when you are with them. The reality is, he breathes his own air, not yours. Allow him that!

(READ: The Power of Breath)

Susan Z’s Verdict

Smothering someone with love isn’t always a bad thing, as long as your intentions are not about getting your needs met if you focus all your attention on that someone you love. We all have or had that person in our life that we just could not get enough of. In short spurts, that’s healthy. If it is on a continuous basis, guaranteed they will run like hell and/or avoid you at all cost.


Considering getting a psychic reading? We have carefully screened and selected a range of gifted, compassionate psychic readers to provide clarity and new insights into your life. Online psychics available 24/7.

Get A Psychic Reading

 

Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine. (life cycles) Learn more at her website: www.szrwhitewings.com

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1 Comment

  1. I appreciate for this
    This is me I didn’t know just by now who I’m. Still I’m in shock. I need read this at list 20 times, you just read me and helped me.
    I need change my self, I finished with my boyfriend 2 days ago but is not first time we did that and each time I will be more broken because I thought I love him and I can not be with him, I watched loads of clip about relationships but I couldn’t find anything better than this. Now I know what’s my mistake and I should work on that. Thank you
    Thank you xxx

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