How to Get Your Man to Communicate
Psychics hear these questions all the time; why won’t he communicate with me? When are we going to have deep conversation? How can I make him open up to me? The answers to these questions vary upon each relationship and situation; however, if you desire him to open up – he needs to feel safe and comfortable with you.
Years ago, when a client asked me this question, my guides gifted me with a wonderful vision of a woman looking perplexed as she examined her car’s engine. What a wonderful analogy of how many women feel when attempting to repair their car, which is similar to the way the majority of men feel when undertaking expressing themselves to women.
3 Don’ts of Communicating
Let’s face it men and women communicate differently! Women tend to be more vocal, while men communicate with less words and more action. Thinking that he should communicate the same as you is a great way to entice him to shut down. To avoid him clamming up, don’t speak in these three ways.
- Attempt to have a conversation when you’re upset and crying. Tears will either have him attempt to cheer you up or he’ll walk away as he can’t handle it.
- Speak to him in anger since it could bring about his repressed inner rage; therefore, result in a shouting match. Or may trigger his subconscious childhood fear of when a parent was angry.
- Scold him on what he is doing wrong and he should do it this way. This will cause him to become defensive.
Think about how you would react if he had spoken to you in any of those above manners. Instead, observe the way he communicates nonverbally. Yes, you read that right! Men often express their love for you in a nonverbal way, such as: arriving on time, doing odd jobs around the house, updating your computer, taking you out to eat, or buying your favorite candy bar. Those acts may seem little to you, yet these are strong statements of love! It’s important that you praise and thank him; for instance, “I appreciate that you remembered and bought my favorite candy bar, thank you.”
3 Dos of Communicating
Perhaps, his actions aren’t enough for you and you still want him to communicate more. Remember, he needs to feel safe and comfortable with you; here’s three tips on how to do this.
- Let him know in advance that you would like to discuss a certain topic with him. This way he has time to ponder the subject instead of being put on the spot.
- Allow him the courtesy of stating his thoughts, feeling, and opinions without interrupting him even if you disagree with what he is saying.
- Clear up any lack of understanding of what he said in a “non-judgmental” manner. For example, “When you said this, did you mean…”
Time is needed for a couple to learn and comprehend each other’s communication style. Forgive yourself and your mate for any mistakes that occurred, rather chalk it to a lesson learned along the path of translating your partner’s words.
Pamela Cummins is a relationship expert who teaches you how to empower yourself to empower your relationships. She is the author of four books, including Psychic Wisdom on Love and Relationships.