Better Self, Top Stories

How To Stop Being Afraid Of Being Alone


How To Stop Being Afraid Of Being Alone

Feeling lonely is one of the worst emotional situations that we have to deal with that comes up for us in this lifetime. It is especially hard when you are just newly out of a hopeful relationship or have not been involved with anyone for awhile. Lonely, is of course, a state of mind. Been said a million times but I am going to say it again because you can be in a room full of friends, family or at a bitchin party and still feel so alone. Why is that? Emotional abandonment as a young child is usually the core reason but now you are an adult and can actually go out and NOT be alone and if you are alone, not be bummed out about it. You now have a choice.

The dictionary definition of loneliness is fairly cut and dry but says it all: “Loneliness is the state of being alone and feeling sad about it. Your loneliness might lead you to sit at home listening to depressing songs, or it could inspire you to go out and meet people. And there lies the difference between going down the black rabbit hole of feeling sorry for yourself or doing something to change what YOUR definition of what loneliness feels like.

Story continues below…

Considering getting a psychic reading? We have carefully screened and selected a range of gifted, compassionate psychic readers to provide clarity and new insights into your life. Online psychics available 24/7.

Get A Psychic Reading ≫


We all feel lonely and alone at times but from the spiritual perspective, we are never alone. But you know, its kind of hard to sit and have a margarita with your higher self and chat about how cute that guy is over there. We want to bring it down to the physical level dimension where we are experiencing it. After pouring over tons of professionals’ opinions of how to change your emotional and mental perspective of the fear of being alone, I have compiled some good food for thought on how you can change that fear of loneliness around. Maybe not overnight, but being persistent with it will definitely make a change whether you feel like a victim or view being alone as a temporary state of being which, by the way, can be changed within one serendipitous moment.

  1. Start learning more about who YOU are. Why don’t you like your own company? Do you think you are boring, not enough or afraid of what the outside world thinks of you if you do not have someone on your arm?
  2. Start learning how to enjoy being alone. Leave the dirty dishes in the sink, don’t wash your hair, no makeup. Do something only you would enjoy…like serial watching the Kardashians.
  3. Resist the temptation to go hunting on social media like Facebook just to have a conversation or joining a dozen dating sites, so someone will seem like they want to connect with you. Loneliness stalks unhappy relationships. Like will get like. If you like to cook, make a fabulous meal for just you. If you have kids, do something with them and really connect. Go to a movie by yourself.
  4. Learn to say no to invitations from people you really do not enjoy hanging out with or exhausted but you go anyway. Have a backup plan that you know you will enjoy like crawling in bed with a good movie.
  5. If you are a social animal, try joining groups. is a great place to spend time with people who like to do the same things you do and was not created for a one-night stand.
  6. If you find yourself putting up with almost anything in a relationship or with friends so you won’t have to be alone, start listening to some feel good affirmation tracks or read an uplifting book about how fabulous YOU are.
  7. Break the habit of making someone your best friend, confidant or potential “soul mate” after meeting them twice. True emotional connections take time to develop and desperation is a very unattractive trait in anyone.
  8. Learn to stand up for yourself. People who are afraid of being alone will avoid confrontation at all costs, sometimes at the expense of your self-esteem and respect.
  9. Stop comparing your aloneness to the happy couple you see sitting across from you at the restaurant. Being alone is not a disease, it actually is a preference at times. But if it terrifies you and you are willing to do ANYTHING to not be alone, your core belief is you are not enough. Work on that!

(READ: Gratitude Makes Everything Better)

Susan Z’s Verdict

There is no light switch to make that fear go away. It is usually deeply imprinted in your belief system that being alone is a statement to the world you are unlovable. Work on changing how you feel about yourself with no one’s opinion attached to it and you might find that being alone is not the worst nor being with someone is not the best. There are so many things to like about you and your own company, you just have to pull them out of that dusty subconscious box and look at them again.

Considering getting a psychic reading? We have carefully screened and selected a range of gifted, compassionate psychic readers to provide clarity and new insights into your life. Online psychics available 24/7.

Get A Psychic Reading ≫


Previous ArticleNext Article


  1. I would think that investing in a high-quality blowup doll would help in the transition of Learning to be alone

  2. Wow ,every word in your sentences was direct ,powerful,quickly lead to simple facts and was very informative about simple facts! Thanks for making those simple facts visible again!

  3. Thank you for your all your comments on this article. Loneliness strikes us all at some point in out lives. Tammy, unfortunately we are unable to answer specific questions here on the stories page but if you would like to contact one of our amazing psychics they would be happy to help and they may just say the very thing you have been hoping to hear:
    Psychic Susan Z