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How You Tell Your Life Story

life story

How You Tell Your Life Story

We all have a story, whether it is one of overcoming great challenges or feeling mostly blessed with the life we have lived. But what matters in everyone’s life story is how YOU view it and how you communicate it to others.

Our past is filled with relationships and events that help shape who we are and what we believe to be true about the world and yourself. Depending on our perspective and willingness to grow, our experiences can become a hotbed for negativity and repeated patterns of playing the victim or they can help fulfill a life of empowerment and continued self-development.

It is the story we tell ourselves and others about our past that makes all the difference in the future.

Personality layers

According to sociology experts, our personality comes in layers. “The first layer is our basic character, made up of traits driven by our genetics and environment. The second layer contains things like values and goals.

The third layer is the story we tell about our lives, a sort of “thinking script” that helps us understand how we came to be the way we are and where we believe our lives are going, giving us a sense of meaning and purpose.

These aren’t just separate things that have an influence on who we are, they ARE who we are and part of our individual personality.” By understanding how we create these stories and how they are structured, we can alter our past stories and rewrite our scripts in ways that will improve your future.

If you take a moment to look at the life story you create for yourself and how you relate your life to others, you may see a pattern of self-sabotage.

If you are constantly angry with people who’ve wronged you, frustrated by opportunities you haven’t received, feel like you have never caught a break, discouraged by failures and setbacks, ashamed of yourself for mistakes you’ve made, disappointed in yourself for making the “wrong” choices or anxious about everything that isn’t working in your life…then you will make more of it.

You’re human, we all feel these things at times. If you retain a lot of guilt or resentment and often feel weighed down by life, you may want to start telling yourself and others a new version of your past and present events.

Taking responsibility for your story

On the flip side, if you generally feel that you dealt with your challenges the best you could, gave every opportunity your all and trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way, then you are viewing the circumstances of your life in a manner that makes the bold statement of living life without blame and holding no one accountable for your choices but you.

No matter who the characters are in your story or what they have done, you are the only one who can give their actions the meaning they have for you. You are the only one who can define what role you will play in your own life. By taking responsibility for your story, you are able to learn and grow, forgive and find compassion and most importantly, move on into a brighter future.

The way we depict our past setbacks profoundly influences how satisfied we are with our current lives. Unhappy people tend to see setbacks as toxic moments that ruined an otherwise good life.

For example: “I was never the same after my wife left me,” while productive adults see them as blessings in disguise. “The divorce was the most painful thing that ever happened to me but I’m so much happier with my new wife.”

Those who live the most fulfilled and happy lives create a life of giving. Whether that is to their families, societies and most importantly to yourself. They tend to find a philosophical meaning in their life obstacles and live life with the attitude that out of every seemingly bad thing that happens, something good will come out of it.

Susan Z’s Verdict

There is an old saying from Western mythology: “The jewel lies between the dragon’s teeth, the golden key lays buried in the tangled thicket.” Your life story is constantly evolving, you can change the perspective of your past by becoming more positive about what you have experienced and bringing it along with you in the future.

(READ: How A Child’s Fears Grow With Us Into Adulthood)


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Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine. (life cycles) Learn more at her website: www.szrwhitewings.com

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