Leave Your Emotional Baggage Behind You
The past is not your compass to guide you into the future. The past cannot be re-created, do-overs don’t exist and there is always a reason why certain things have happened to you in your life. Some are obvious, some not so much. When you ask yourself why you keep on having the same experiences in relationships that do not end well, you will see that you are on “emotional repeat” in your subconscious definition of what love is suppose to look and feel like. Accepting that your choices in men is the problem, not the guy.
We unconsciously repeat what we have been exposed to growing up. Those patterns are what you have carried into your adulthood. The old saying; “The fruit never falls too far from the tree,” is you repeating your parents’ beliefs in relationships because that is all you have ever known. You have to have some kind of definition of love? The ego tells you; “this is must be right…even though it doesn’t make you happy. Your higher self will put one unhappy relationship after another in your path, hoping you will finally see the reflection how mis-loving yourself looks like. Relationships are mirrors.
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This is what emotional baggage looks like:
- Regrets: We all have regrets, something we did or something we didn’t do. Do what feels right with yourself and the person involved and apologize, forgive or whatever it takes and then move on.
- Hurts and resentment: If that person is aware they have hurt you, find forgiveness. Hating them is like you taking poison and expecting them to die. If they don’t know they hurt you, energetically have them own it without you having to be right. Carrying hurts and grudges is emotionally crippling.
- Fears and Anxieties: There are two kind of risks that brings fear and anxiety where love is concerned. Recklessly going for it with red flags all over the place but you just want to give the guy a chance. The second is not wanting to take any chances of getting hurt again, so you isolate.
Here is some emotional baggage you can start unloading NOW! in whatever way that works for you. Listen to affirmation tracks, join support groups, get counseling, anything that does NOT commiserate how bad things happened to you in the past.
Your family is not you
Most of what happens in our early years of family origins emotionally shapes us. Wishfully, our memories are filled with laughter and joy, then the baggage is mostly trying to live up to that level with someone. Unfortunately, not everyone enjoyed a strong childhood foundation. In fact, 87% of us all have a story of family dysfunction that carries deep, emotional issues that are easily made your own. If your parents always put you down, you may have low self-esteem, acknowledging that whatever your family said about you is generally not absolute truth, only their issues put on it. Your parents divorce is their break in trust, not yours. Learn to let go of what doesn’t belong to you.
Your new partner is not your ex
Relationships are always intense, especially when they do not end well. The past actions of an ex-partner, can loop future relationships with old responses years later. If your ex cheated on you, it can make you feel paranoid towards future partners, even when there is nothing to worry about. If you have faced abuse in the past, you will find it even more difficult to trust a new partner, expecting to be hurt in the same way. Abuse is not something anyone, ever, should have to live through, whether it be physical, emotional, or psychological abuse. It takes a lot of work (often with the help of a therapist) to let go of the inflicted wounds where scars remain unseen. You do not have to keep on carrying that painful, emotional baggage. If someone abuses you, that is 100% on them. Not a single part of it is your fault or responsibility. Abuse is always unacceptable.
You are not your past you
This is the most difficult one to grasp. We cannot change the past. We can however learn from it and make sure we do not continue making the same mistakes in the future. We move into new Soul Windows (spiritual life cycles) about every 7 to 9 years, being completely imprinted with a new agenda and an energetic guidebook to accomplish it. Guilt is not printed in your new guide book, it is a footnote from your ego who believes that perfection is the only way you can be loved. Unload it!
Susan Z’s Verdict
Once you recognize how powerful you with the ability to change your future by unloading past negative guidelines, that has only brought you unhappiness, the future will start looking and being happier for you. It’s a choice and fortunately, you are always in a position to make it.
Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine.
I would just like to thank you for the daily emails, I enjoy reading them and sometimes it feels as if you are speaking directly to me.
Thanks JoAnn! We’re glad to hear you’re enjoying them!