Moving on From an Ex
I often talk with clients who are struggling to move on from a past relationship. After asking, “Will we get back together,” they want to know if they will ever get over their ex.
While there are times when rekindling an old relationship would be a good thing, more often than not, it is a really bad idea. In most cases, that person is in your past for a reason and should be left there.
Getting over a past love connection is not quite as difficult as many people may think. No, the answer is not to simply find someone new. Rather, you must look within to find the strength and motivation to simply move on.
The first thing you must do is put as much distance between yourself and your ex as possible. Do not see him or her, refrain from seeing their friends and family, as well. If you share mutual friends, limit your communications with them and consider setting some boundaries that prevent them from speaking about your ex in your presence.
Sharing a child with your former partner does a problem with this whole “out of sight, out of mind” approach. If you need to, consider having a neutral third party facilitate the exchange so you can avoid awkward time with your ex.
If you have reminders of this former love in your surroundings, remove them. You need not throw them out, but at least pack them up so you are not constantly looking at them. Also, refrain from visiting places you and your former partner used to frequent when together.
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The most powerful and effective way to let go and move on is to completely reconfigure your thought process. Remove the words “we” and “us” and focus more on “I”. See yourself as deserving more or better. You need not paint your former partner in a bad light to do this, just know that there is always room for improvement.
Know that your happiness is not at all dependent on your former partner and you do not need any other person to complete you.
Manifest your own happiness and best life possible. Love you for you and accept that you must be happy and content within yourself before you can fully give of yourself to another.
Work to always be present in every moment. This means being actively involved in, and fully aware of, your surroundings. Do not dwell on the past or even the future. Just enjoy the current moment.
Do not wait until you feel ready to move on. Start getting out now. Get out, spend time with people, especially new people. These need not be potential romantic interests. They could be established friends, relatives or new connections.
Take a class or course on something that interests you such as cooking, art or creative writing. Join a group of like-minded persons that meets regularly. Doing this will serve several purposes in addition to simply helping you move forward. You will gain new experiences, meet new persons with whom you already have something in common and will keep you from completely holing up in your home.
Above all else, just keep moving forward. Do not look back.
Tamara is an award-winning writer with over 35 years experience as a Spiritual Life Coach, Psychic, Tarot Reader and Medium. She has worked with individuals all over the world through a myriad of life issues ranging from relationship and marriage counseling to dealing with grief and loss, as well as a whole host in between. She appears as a guest speaker on numerous podcasts and radio shows.