Recognizing Relationship Problems

Signs Your Relationship May Be in Trouble

Having been an Emotional Addiction Counselor for over 20 years and an Intuitive Psychic, the BIG question of any new or troubled relationship; “is this going anywhere” probably accounts for 90% of most counseling and questions asked of a psychic. Because we want it to work so much and are mostly blind to red flags that are there right from the beginning, you want to believe you will be the exception to the rule.

If being the “special” one that he or she will treat differently to all the others is your definition of love, then the end results are down to your choices, not the person you are involved with. If you repeatedly find yourself in the same painful relationships where you are left holding your broken heart in your hand, then it might be time to take a deep look within and ask yourself if this is truly what you believe you deserve.

If that answer is yes, then it might be time to start thinking differently about what amazing love YOU bring to the table, not just how they are going to make you feel loved.

Below are some simple red flags to look for and just so you don’t get too discouraged, I have put a few positive signs that show the relationship has possibilities so you can compare the two.

Red Flags of Relationship Problems

1. If you bring up the subject of a future together, you get a blank look, he changes the subject, squirms in his seat or tells you “how about we just take it slow.”
2. You have been seeing him for 6 months and still have not met any of his family or been invited to a family celebration.
3. If you suggest moving in together, he says he likes his space or “well maybe could try it on a short-term basis and see how it goes.”
4. If you make future plans for going away for a holiday and your answer is: “Well, let’s not get too ahead of ourselves.”
5. He still hasn’t accepted your friend request on Facebook.
6. If you are living together, he refuses to make any joint purchases with you on household items saying, “What if we break up?”
7. It’s been two years and you’ve never spent a single holiday together.
8. You’ve been long distance for more than a year and still haven’t discussed what being together looks like.
9. He does not invite you to go to a friends’ wedding but goes solo because he doesn’t want you to get any ideas.
10. He thinks “engaged to be engaged” is an actual thing and when you ask when he’s going to finally propose, he says, “But you already know we’re engaged to be engaged!”
11. You used to have sex all the time, but rarely touch each other anymore.
12. The best reason you can think of for staying together is that you have been together a long time.
13. You can’t remember the last time you had fun together.
14. No communication about day to day events, let alone important life changes.
15. You fight too much, meaning you can’t get through a day without bickering about something.
16. Not noticing that you rarely spend couple time together anymore and not sad about it.

The best advice always is listen to your gut instincts about how you feel about being a couple. Do you feel insecure, suspicious all the time, walking on eggshells so you won’t make your partner mad, time to rethink what you have? So that we don’t all go out and jump off the nearest bridge, below is a short list of signs you have a good chance you are in a lasting relationship. These signs are not for first dates but after you have been seeing someone for at least a few months or longer.

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

1. You cuddle. You like being close to one another and always touching in some form of physical communication with or without sex on the agenda, you can be sure the attraction is genuine.
2. You communicate well by talking and listening to one another. You share stories and express your feelings to each other daily.
3. You have a healthy respect for each other. It entails a sense of equality, unassailable loyalty, mutual support in tough times and forgiveness after the inevitable mistakes. People who share mutual respect for each other never speak ill of the other in public or fail to defend them when others do.
4. You fight fair. You never, never get off the topic and hit below the belt with hurtful comments. A resilient relationship is not the absence of conflict but being respectful of the others point of view without having to scorch the earth with a nasty comment.
5. You don’t hold onto hard feelings for long periods of time. You allow each other time for tempers to cool and then be accountable for what you said to the other. You are willing to agree to disagree sometimes.
6. You work together as a team. Your relationship has far more staying power if you set common goals and strive to reach them as a team. A sharing approach should apply to big life decisions, finances and career advancement as well as the mundane tasks of daily life: emptying the trash, doing laundry, or cooking dinner.
7. Your sex life is good and fun. Lots of mutually enthusiastic sex has a dual role to play in boosting your confidence that the relationship is likely to last. It offers evidence, like cuddling, that the attraction you feel for each other is real and has an ample fuel supply. Sex floods our bodies with oxytocin, which researchers have dubbed the “love hormone” for its proven ability to strengthen “social bonding” between lovers. In other words, healthy lovemaking makes your love more likely to last.

Susan Z

Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine.