Release the Past Through Forgiveness
Closure and forgiveness go hand in hand, they complement one another, and whatever stage you have found yourself on your life path, you have likely clocked up a variety of life experiences. Seamlessly, you may have navigated through joy’s and challenges, from one life stage to another, drawing a line firmly under the past. Happy memories stored in the recesses of your mind, cleanly and clinically out of sight.
And so, the subject of forgiveness is a non-issue since everybody’s moved on. All good! Or is it?
For anyone who is finding it difficult to forgive another for a real or perceived injustice, you are not alone. You are alone however, in the nursing of hurtful, painful, feelings of betrayal and associated collateral damage. It’s true to say that most folks consider the impact of injustice more so when it has happened to them. It’s a bitter pill to swallow and It’s a fair assumption that you may not get the apology or validation that you want or feel you deserve.
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If there are feelings of betrayal within a love connection, hauling a partner over the coals as punishment will not help your healing process, nor will it force an action. A defensive action perhaps. Threats and ultimatums will not bring your desired outcome.
The ego loves nothing more than to project your own feelings of insecurity on to another. It is natural to feel resentment and anger. This does not make you a bad person. You are simply getting real with yourself and acknowledging what happened in readiness for the release of toxic energies in order to nurture healing.
Some people describe the healing process as more painful than the original hurt. It may be necessary to dig deep, especially if historical issues were triggered and mixed with the current pain. Timing is key and so consider that an old wound has not quite been put to bed. Whether the person remains part of your life or not, your healing and subsequent forgiveness is for yourself, not the other.
You are allowing yourself peace. And if said individual should form part of your future, try to remember the good things you shared. Carrying around toxic or negative energies serves no one, least of all yourself.
Diana-Julie’s Verdict
When a love partner, family member or a friend has hurt you, forgiveness does not mean you are OK with what happened or that you should forget about it. You are telling yourself to let go, heal and move on. Logically you know it’s the right thing to do. Acknowledge any anger, frustration or resentment and register emotions as part of the thought process in order to channel them appropriately.
The perceived wrong-doer may not be sorry for what they’ve done, they may not have intended to hurt you and so do not feel your hurt warrants an apology. Continuing to hold someone accountable could be deemed as co-dependent. Allowing another person to control your thought processes as a consequence of their unacceptable behaviours may bring the very thing that you don’t want to penetrate an already fragile boundary. Forgive, allow healing and use it as an opportunity to grow coming from a place of strength.
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