Should You Remain Friends with Your Ex?
Exes are a hot topic on the psychic adviser lines. Clients desire to know how their ex-lover feels about them, if they will reunite, or what they’re doing. Our exes can stir up a great deal of different emotions, which determines whether it’s wise to stay friends with your ex-partner or not. However, the following is the number one reason where it’s wise to remain friends.
If you have a child or children with your ex, you have no choice to deal with one another for at least eighteen years. Unless one parent is court ordered to stay away from the child; nevertheless, this doesn’t guarantee your ex will obey that ruling.
Remaining friends with former partner will benefit the child, although it takes two for a friendship to work. There are times when an immature parent cannot put aside negative emotions or actions. When this happens, do your best to be civil and don’t bad mouth the child’s mother or father. Do you think this is impossible? Here are two examples how this is possible.
A client’s ex-husband took her to court over child custody so many times that even the judge was sick of him. She would do her best to remain centered and read self-help books while waiting for her case to be called. The judge usually ruled in her favor because of her non-reactive behavior.
My former business associate was on fairly decent terms with her ex-husband, who lived in another state. Her son was having issues; intuitively she knew he needed a male role model in her life. Despite her heart breaking and the negative opinions of others, she did what was best for her son and allowed him to live with his father.
When to Stay Friends
Besides being a parent, there are times a couple can remain friends. Please remember this takes work and isn’t an overnight process. Here are three important factors involved:
- There was a friendship before a romantic relationship.
- The breakup was mutual.
- When both parties are mature enough to do so.
When Not to Stay Friends
Heartbroken people will say they want to remain friends with their exes for the following three excuses:
- Hoping to get back together.
- Keeping in the loop of your ex’s new love relationship.
- Plotting revenge.
Dangerous to Remain Friends
There are times it’s best for you to have no contact with your former partner, these four reasons are why:
- Physical violence; you must stay away for your own safety.
- Narcissists only care about themselves, while using others for an ego boost and their own selfish reasons.
- Alcoholics and addicts will always put their drug of choice before you and cause chaos in your life.
- Verbal or mental abuse will continue no matter what the status of the relationship is.
Whether you stay friends or not, what’s important is you keep your side of the relationship road clean by working on your personal growth and being honest with your ex-mate. As far as your ex-partner’s side of the relationship road, you have no control over of it, nor the right to clean it.
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Pamela Cummins is a relationship expert who teaches you how to empower yourself to empower your relationships. She is the author of four books, including Psychic Wisdom on Love and Relationships. Learn more at her website www.pamelacummins.com