Signs Of A “Man-Child” Potential Partner
We have all heard the phrase, “man-child” and any woman that has been involved with, dated or married to one is very clear what that definition comes with. You are dealing with a man that has never grown up and is still in the emotional and mental mindset of a spoiled young man brat. Some women look at them as a challenge to help them grow up but mostly, they end up being frustrating and at the worst end of the spectrum, heartbreaking. All the while being clueless as to what you are upset about.
In the same line of thought, emotional maturity could be defined as a state of emotional strength and self-control which leads to realistic and balanced behavior. “Maturity appears when we start to worry more about others than about ourselves.” -Albert Einstein- That is the chip that is missing from them.
Below are emotional and behavioral traits that throw up the red flags that you might just be involved with a “man-child”. If you have the stamina or the strong desire to take him on his terms, then go for it but if you have moved past the point of the need or desire to constantly babysit your partner, think twice.
- He is emotionally egocentric. Totally believing that the world revolves around their needs and desires regardless of who they take advantage of or upset.
- They have trouble with commitment. They do not have the ability to put the mature hard work it takes to help a relationship go the distance, even if you try to do all the work for them. They are unable to make the necessary sacrifices that we all have to do to keep a long-term relationship going.
- They tend to blame others for their mistakes and shortcomings. They constantly are in the frame of mind they are being controlled by others. They don’t care about the damage they might have done. Instead, they only care about the punishment to others. Forgiveness is not something they find easily given and can hold a grudge for a very long time.
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- They have several dependent relationships in their life. Whether it be parents, friends or co-workers. They are always their “go to” people if something does not go the way they wanted it to.
- They are usually irresponsible with their money. They have immediate gratification issues, so it must be bought right at the moment it is wanted.
- They occasionally show inappropriate behavior. He may drink too much at the office party, turn on football during your mother’s Thanksgiving dinner or answer his cell phone at your friend’s wedding. Like the four-year-old he resembles, he’ll probably pout if corrected.
- Your feelings in any situation does not matter. He doesn’t want to hear about your day, he doesn’t want to meet your parents…worse, he’s rude to your friends. If your opinions are different from his own, he ignores them.
- They always put their needs first. He will ask you to get him coffee but never offer bring some for you. If he buys you a birthday present, it’s tickets to a game he wants to see.
- Buddies come before you pretty much most of the time. Whether its poker night or golf, boy’s night takes precedence over quality couple time and is clueless as to why you would be upset about it.
- They don’t want an adult relationship, they want a party. They usually bail when you need to lean on them. They can’t commit to doing anything with you because something more fun might turn up.
- If they are techies, they are obsessed with the newest toys out and have to have the latest gaming systems, the biggest TVs and the shiniest car, boat, bike, etc. They have no problem sitting on that ratty hand-me-down couch because all the money for furniture went to surround sound.
- They have no interest in your friends, what their life is about or what is going on with them. If you try to share, their eyes glaze over or they preoccupy themselves with something and say they can do whatever they are doing and listen to you at the same time.
Susan Z’s Verdict
We all have at least once in our dating history, dealt with this type of man-child. Whether it is being spoiled by a mother or the absence of one, the bottom line is you are in or going to be in a relationship by yourself. If you are determined you can help them mature and become the partner you are hoping for…sharing, caring, available and supportive, you have your work cut out for you as they usually like things the way they are and will always find a woman who will give them what they need. So why change?
Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine.