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Stop Comparing Yourself To Others


Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

I remember as a teenager, complaining to my grandmother about my frizzy red hair and saying I wished I had the long, curly, shiny, blond hair that my cousin had. When I was in high school, the ‘look’ was the California blonde beach girl.

My cousin, who nonchalantly flipped her hair over her shoulder like she knew she was just ‘it’, would always make me feel like I just morphed into Ronald McDonald, every time. This is the advice my grandmother gave me and I never forgot it, sharing it with my clients and anyone I heard comparing themselves to someone else who they thought had better hair, job, car, boyfriend, lifestyle or anything else.

My grandmother looked me in the eyes and said in the most serious tone I had ever heard from her: “Susan, as you grow up and go through life, you will ALWAYS run into somebody that is prettier, smarter, richer, luckier, more talented or just seems like their life was blessed.” Here comes the kicker… “so get over it and make the most of what you have been given in this life to work with. NO ONE has everything and you never know what their personal tragedies may be.”

Story continues below…

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Negative social comparison

You are unique and there is no one else like you in the entire universe. In honor of your unique self, it is good to acknowledge and embrace the special qualities that make you the person that you are. One way to do this is to not compare yourself with other people. It is a sure way to make yourself feel less than and unhappy with who you are.

It is human nature to want to see how we measure up in comparison to others, especially if we think that they are better than us or have more of something that we want. When you find yourself envious of what someone else has, feel jealous, inferior or inadequate as the result, you’re having what is called a ‘negative social comparison’ moment.

Habitual negative social comparisons can cause you to experience stress, anxiety, depression and cause you to make many unfortunate self-defeating choices.

Yet how do you compare two unique individuals solely based on physical looks, fame, money or lifestyle? There is no one like you and this makes you incomparable. It is sometimes easier to look outside of ourselves and feel like we are lacking in an assessment to other people rather than taking responsibility for our own progress in fulfilling our life purpose.

It actually takes more courage to look at ourselves to see whether we are measuring up to our standards or meeting our full potential. Each of us have very special gifts, and we are here for very specific reasons and only you can honor them in the way they were meant to be honored.

We all have idols, wishing we were the movie actor, the rock star, the model, the billionaire that seems to have everything but if you humanize them, you will realize you are not really wishing for everything about that person, but only the idealized traits of that person. Regardless of who you are comparing yourself to, they have flaws and life problems just like all of us. What truly makes you that special and unique one of a kind person is not what you are comparing but your values that comes from WITHIN: self-acceptance, quality relationships and a meaningful life’s purpose.

(READ: Constant Complaining Can Destroy Your Future Happiness)

Susan Z’s Verdict

The Buddha reminds us that the four conditions in life which ultimately causes suffering are: birth, aging, illness, and death. No one, no matter how powerful, successful, wealthy, or fabulous they seem on the outside, can escape these truths. No matter how beautiful someone is in their youth, they will inevitably become an old wrinkled woman. Just ask any woman in the movie business who competes with the idealization of youth in their acting careers. Your fame, money, power or social position cannot buy you out of or stop those four rules. These four conditions are the only things that hold the power of sameness and making all of us equal.

Considering getting a psychic reading? We have carefully screened and selected a range of gifted, compassionate psychic readers to provide clarity and new insights into your life. Online psychics available 24/7.

Get A Psychic Reading


Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine. (life cycles) Learn more at her website:

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  1. I always feel less than, my boyfriend of 3 short years , has slept on couch for the past 8 months , I’ve gained 3i lbs cause of CPlus divituculitus , and I’m 160 where I was 130, when I met him, always comparing myself , and always feel ugly and fat

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