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Take Charge Of The Many “Selfs” We Live With

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Take Charge Of The Many “Selfs” We Live With

We all have used the expression of “Me, Myself and I” in describing your participation in something. We talk about ourselves in second person as though another individual was sharing your life with you. Well guess what, there is! Actually, there are many selfs that share your day to day roles.

If we have not accepted the fact there are many facets of self that have a role to play in your life and are designed by your psyche to emotionally adapt and survive, you may at times feel at the mercy of factions of yourself that you feel you are not in control of.

You know the self I’m talking about: that overwhelmed, sometimes grumpy and fragmented self that has lost the ability to live fully and think big; the self that is fully padded with all kinds of protections (and baggage) to ward off the calamities which “are certain to come at any moment”; the self that feels like there is a simpler way, but can’t seem to figure out where it is and how to cultivate it.

There are layers and layers of ‘selfs’ that step forward in any given situation.


We have many roles but in essence there is only one self and that is enmeshed in contradiction. The way we were taught to view the world, how to place ourselves in it and then struggle not to be destroyed by it, is the contradiction that most of us live with everyday. Each of us must confront the basic concept of what your authentic self is to discover how to manage the many facets you encounter. Listed below are some of these conflicts we face everyday.

  1. We don’t want to conform but yet fear being ‘different.’
  2. We are afraid of our anger, yet angry at ourselves for being afraid.
  3. We fear confrontation, yet allow manipulation.
  4. We are overwhelmed with having to take charge of our own life, yet need to exercise power by orchestrating others’ lives.
  5. We hate being depressed, yet sometimes desire its solace.
  6. We fear taking risks but long for adventure.
  7. We avoid being flexible yet imprison ourselves by accepting the rigidity of sameness.
  8. We avoid valuing and loving ourselves in our own right, yet feel isolated and alone in our own put downs of who we are.

The constant battle of self can only be won by cultivating a dialogue between your head and your feelings. Allow everything to reflect back upon your own natural state of awareness. Learn to have your own agenda and not embark with a blank sheet that everyone else writes their script on.

Analyzing and evaluating where you are coming from, what’s happening, and where you want to go, replaces judgments and guilt feelings with an honest evaluation of who is in charge.

Setting personal priorities which flow from self-knowledge and goals consciously set by you and dealing with how it effects your life, gives you a sense of purpose, growing in a certain direction and working toward a certain end. Rather than an unending parade of events overwhelming your ability to do anything, taking them as they come and hoping and praying they don’t do you in. This time the one and only YOU take charge!

Susan Z’s Verdict

The essential ingredient in finding your authentic self and shutting down all the other parts of you that functions in fear is all about commitment. A steady commitment to the idea of liberating yourself and the effort it will take to free you to be authentic in foundations of strength of character versus fearful inner doubts.

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