Tami Time

Tami Time: At Some Point You Gotta Say Enough is Enough

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Tami Time: Psychic Tamara answers your questions

Every week I deal with questions from readers and try to help them resolve their issues by drawing a tarot card and reading what it means for them. If you would like to submit your question to me, email me at TamiTime@7thSensePsychics.com.

It is said that with age comes wisdom. Well, I turn 52 today and I’m not so sure about that. But I have gained a tremendous amount of self-respect and I do not put up with anywhere near the bull I used to tolerate. When I look back at some of the idiotic things I did to gain the attention and love of a man, I seriously do not even recognize that person and I thank God for how far I’ve come.

This week, we talk with a few people who need to draw their line in the sand and put an end to some rather toxic and unhealthy situations.

Maureen and Cassie have been holding on to false hope for years that their romantic partners will return. Candace is caught up in what she considers may be a narcissistic relationship and Dorlet questions getting over her child’s father.

“Hi I was with my husband for 20yrs. He has now left me for 5yrs too Start a new family. I asked him will he divorce me his answer is I don’t want too talk about that right now. We have a big family together and I been fighting for this marriage the whole 20yr. Seem like I have alone. I feel he doesn’t love me anymore. He allow so many people come between us. His mom different woman friends. Will I found new love or will we reunite. Thank you please get back too me…” – Maureen

It has been five years, hon. He is not coming back. And, honestly, would you really want him to? After he’s been off playing house and building a whole new family, it would be acceptable to you to be his fallback plan or consolation prize because his other plan did not work out? Hon, your card today was The World, reversed, and one of the most basic meanings of this card is closure.

Five years, hon. And you even wrote yourself that you felt you had been fighting alone for the marriage for the whole 20 years that you were together. That is not marriage and it is certainly no way to spend your life.

On a side note, you will never be able to welcome in someone new and deserving as long as you are still holding out false hope that you can make your marriage work.

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“Hello Tami, I feel like I’m crazy and losing my mind. It’s been 4 years since my breakup and I’m still not over it. Think about it everyday! Hoped for him to return but don’t believe that’s happening since he is living someone now. My question is…. will I ever get over the man I know was the love of my life?” – Cassie

Cassie, you will get over this man but not until you make the conscious choice and expend the effort to do so. You will not simply wake up one day and he’ll be completely out of your heart and mind.

Whether you realize it or not, you are choosing to hold on to him. You are choosing to wait four years for his return. Then four will become five and so on. The fact that he is currently living with someone else has little to do with the fact he will not be returning to you other than to say he has moved on. I am sorry, hon, if that sounds harsh but I have to tell you what I am being given.

The Four of Wands came up for you which speaks of the tremendous potential happiness ahead for you with a new love once you make the conscious and focused effort to move on yourself. It’s time.

“I am in what I think is a narcissistic relationship.  Can you please help me and tell me if this is in fact true. We keep breaking up and getting back together. I need to know if I need to leave and not look back.” – Candace

Only a licensed healthcare professional can say whether you or your partner is narcissistic. But I can say that your current romantic relationship is most definitely toxic.

You say you keep breaking up and getting back together which tells me that neither of you is working to make any changes in an effort to fix what is wrong between you. Thus, this cycle will continually perpetuate until one of you finally steps up and says, “Enough!” Or one of you dies.

The Death card came up for your situation, hon. This does not in any way indicate the actual death of either of you, but rather the relationship as you know it. Death is indicative of the strong need for drastic change. If you and your partner cannot (or will not) work together to bring about the necessary changes to yourselves and the relationship in order to make things work, then you need to just let go and part ways once and for all. There are no other options.

“I really need your help with this certain situation! Would I be able to ever get over a certain person in my life meaning my baby’s father will we ever be together??” – Dorlet

Hon, I know this will sound like I’m oversimplifying the situation but getting over someone starts with a choice. A choice that you make for yourself. It is certainly not an easy choice, but a choice nonetheless. From there, it takes action and there are any number of rather effective processes for getting over a former love.

Through the reversed Seven of Swords, I am seeing that you are fooling yourself in thinking that you and your child’s father will ever be together as a fully committed romantic couple. I am very sorry to tell you that as I understand all too well raising a child without the regular influence of their own biological father (or any father for that matter).

Whether or not he chooses to be involved in your shared child’s life is a whole completely different and separate situation and is up to him. You cannot force that other than to hold him accountable through the courts for child support. I point all of this out for your own protection.

As you work to move beyond him romantically, you need to always be mindful of what the true reason may be for why you really want to be with him. This can be quite difficult to discern as emotions are very easily intertwined and often confused. Do you want to be with him because you truly love him and legit want to be with him? Or, and this is more important, is it because you are confusing your relationship with him with his relationship with his child? One has absolutely nothing to do with the other yet they both hurt just the same.

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6 Comments

  1. First of all Happy Birthday.
    My situation was a third party.
    We’d been seeing each other for two years.
    When I finally found out.
    I saw red flags from the beginning he Had lady friends, which isn’t anything wrong with that. Except he’d talk and then delete his messages.
    I did mention to him that I felt very uncomfortable as we were just starting out.
    So this was always in the back of my mind if he was maybe seeing them while I was living at his home.
    Heart never lies and I found out that this was the truth.
    I was done with him.
    He ripped my heart out. I gave all my love to him in which he didn’t appreciate.
    Needless to say disrespected me royally.
    After losing my husband of 21 yrs I let him in after 4 yrs of mourning. also out of trust that my heart would be safe.. Also the fact that the connection was like we had been friends forever.
    I am devastated and angry with my self to have been so naive. My birth month is in the sign of Gemini and consider myself to be very intuitive.
    Needless to say he had the pleasure of meeting my other side, I let him have it with both barrels. I was hurt and said some hatful things which I did apologize to him.
    That is a side of me that I learned to control many yrs ago.
    Well, he told me we were done. I had burnt bridges and he wasn’t ever getting back with me.
    I again felt the pain of being left out in the cold, abandon. I couldn’t understand why he could keep these other women but blocked me. I did have a text saying he wanted to be friends, I told him I wasn’t going to be part of his harem. If he couldn’t love me with his all then he didn’t deserve me.
    To get to the point of this life lesson for me is that the connection we had was real and know he loved me but we weren’t on the same page at the time.
    I felt and still do feel as if we were soul mates.
    After listening to tarot readings and talking with my spirits. All the readings have been directed towards we our souls mates. And this spilt had to happen so we could go into deep soul searching to transform into who and what our purpose on earth was.
    It’s been 4 mths and have done a whole lot of healing.
    I’m still healing from this hurt and gradually learning to free myself of his memories.
    I’m trusting and having faith that the divine
    will help him heal and realize that he lost the best thing but can find the happiness that he searches for.
    I’ve come to peace with myself and the pain.
    Maybe you might see something in the cards just to help me find some justice in all of this as be able fully to find someone that is ready for the love I have. Faithful, sincere honesty and someone that I can communicate freely with.
    I’d love to have him be transformed and ready to at least talk with me.
    Didn’t mean to write a chapter out of my life.
    Oops.
    Healing in Illinois.
    Happy birthday once again
    I’m 60 and to old to be playing high school games

    1. Sandi, thank you, very much, for the birthday wishes. I greatly appreciate that and you taking time to read this week’s posting and comment. I enjoyed reading of your experience and I am sure several other readers did as well. I hope some see themselves and find the strength to do what you did.

      I am so thankful you let go of this man and are healing. You are worth so much more than to simply be one of many in the life of any man. You still have much to give and share and there will come a time when you do just that.

      Thank you, again, and blessings.
      Tami/Tamara
      x827

  2. Hi, I’ve been scared to death about going back to work, to the point that I can’t even call them, I’ve been there for 24 years! Is my job still available or should I just try and move on..to scared to leave my home..

    1. Betty, I am terribly sorry to see of your anxiety concerns. Unfortunately, I am not able to answer your question here in the comments. Please email the question to TamiTime@7thsensepsychics.com.
      Thank you and blessings.
      Tami/Tamara
      x827

  3. I’m needing clarity. I am really trying to make the best decision with no take backs. Your the reader so with out going into detail what is in the cards for me? Please advise

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