Tami Time

Tami Time: Dealing with Mental Illness and Self-Destructive Behavior

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Tami Time: Psychic Tamara answers your questions

Every week I deal with questions from readers and try to help them resolve their issues by drawing a tarot card and reading what it means for them. If you would like to submit your question to me, email me at TamiTime@7thSensePsychics.com.

Each and every one of us, as humans, deal with some form of adversity on and off throughout our lives. Quite often, those struggles are out of our own control. Sometimes they are the result of the negative choices of others. All-too-often, that adversity is the result of our own poor choices. Three of our four seekers this week finds herself dealing with the negative effects of her own poor choice. But it is never too late to make a change for the better and work to move forward.

Christine struggles with serious mental illness and relationship issues, Daniela is losing faith as her man is dealing with his own inner demons, Carla’s heart is broken over the ramifications of her own self-destructive behaviors of years ago and Charlotte is choosing one of the most common and indulgent self-destructive behaviors that goes back to the dawn of time.

“My name is Christine and I dont know what to do about the relationship I’m in. I’ve been finding out recently that most of our problems stem from my mental illness. I am diagnosed impulse disorder. Now that I am aware of the things I’ve been doing wrong, I want to work at this relationship, but have I damaged it too much to be saved? Please write back to me, I really need advice. Thank you” – Christine

Hon, as one who has struggled with serious mental illness most of my life, I certainly feel your pain and fear of the future and the unknown. While I have never dealt personally with impulse disorder, I can imagine how uncertain you are feeling about many things in your life as well as other relationships.

I am seeing that your relationship is not too damaged to be saved. However, the Ace of Wands, reversed, coming up for you warns that working on your relationship at the same time you are trying to learn to live with and manage your mental illness may be a bit too much. Especially when you take into account all of the other areas in your life that you are coming to learn have been affected directly, or indirectly, by your struggles.

It appears your boyfriend will stand by you at least for a while. I urge you to be careful and know the boundaries, though, and not take on all of the responsibility for your relationship issues and do not allow him to use your mental illness as an excuse to blame everything on you as a result. It takes two to make or break a relationship, mental illness or no.

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“So I have been in a relationship since May. This was an old flame who I never had a real relationship with until now. He’s going through something I cannot save him
from and that could potentially kill him. I’m have been trying to be supportive but it’s not getting better only worse. I’m losing faith but man did the universe bring us together in ways that would blow anyone’s mind. Soulmate. He’s my best friend but he’s withdrawing from our relationship because he needs recovery. I do not doubt he loves me but do you see it getting better or worse? I’m heartbroken 😞” – Daniela

Something you need to keep in mind as your heart is breaking, hon, is to know that your man is not choosing his struggles over your relationship. Rather the slow demise of your relationship is just another symptom of his need for recovery. He is in a very, very dark place right now and it is growing darker almost by the day.

He knows what needs to be done but sadly is not anywhere near being ready and willing to do what he needs to do. He is still in denial and not fully cognizant of how his own inner demons are adversely affecting everyone and everything in his own life. It pains me to say that standing by him will only become increasingly difficult and the Queen of Wands came up reversed for you warning that you know when to let go and just walk away. You need to have boundaries, hon, and stand firmly by them.

“Dear Tami, I very much appreciate your time in drawing a card for me. My name is Carla. It’s difficult for me to ask my question because of the complexity of situation so i’ll do my best. My son is 18 years old and has lived with me all his life. When he was 11 I made a mistake and my sister told him the situation. I was self medicating. I’ve been over it for six years. The hatred he felt for me has become worse every day. When he turned 18 he moved to live with my sister. She hates me, he hates me. My heart is so broken. Like I said the complexity of situation huge. My son’s father, my husband involved, we are separated now. I know people can not be made to think a certain way. I just want him to not have that hate in his heart. Of course I want him to forgive me but his happiness is absolutely first. So I don’t know if that does enough to read a card correctly but I thought i’d give it a try. Again thank you for your time.” – Carla

I am terribly sorry to see that you are still dealing with the fallout of your choice to self-medicate after so many years of being clean. It is being stressed to me that this negative choice of yours so many years ago is not the only reason your son has chosen to shut you out.

Your sister and others have influenced him to some extent as well. While you place his happiness above receiving his forgiveness, he will not ever be truly happy until he forgives you and allows you back into his life.

Know that this will happen in time. I cannot say just when or how, but the Five of Cups coming up for you says that all hope is not lost. For now, though, you can only stand aside and allow him to eventually work things through on his own.

I feel that as he matures and is able to remove himself from your sister’s daily influence and possibly work to build a family of his own, he will come to have a better understanding of why you made the choices you did so many years ago.

I suggest you write him a heartfelt letter fully expressing your sorrow, regret and your love for him then just let it go. He will come around in time.

“Dear Tami
I’ve recently started an affair again with a man I was having an affair with a 5 months ago, will he actually leave his wife for me?
Kind regards” – Charlotte

The short answer, hon: No. This man will not leave his wife to be with you. Not now. Not next month. Not next year. Not ever.

You are not the first woman he has cheated on his wife with and you certainly will not be the last. Sad, but true.

Through the Five of Pentacles, it is being shown that you are not looking at this relationship objectively. Rather you are blinded by your own loneliness and desire for a partner. He says all the right things and occasionally (actually rarely) does the right things … just enough to keep you hooked.

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