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Tami Time: Psychic Tamara answers your questions

Every week I deal with questions from readers and try to help them resolve their issues by drawing a tarot card and reading what it means for them. If you would like to submit your question to me, email me at TamiTime@7thSensePsychics.com.

Through all the health and drastic economic concerns of this current world-wide crisis, life must go on. Christie and Debbie are struggling with matters of love during this global pandemic while Lori and Jade struggle with the fathers of their unborn babies.

“My boyfriend is American (I’m Canadian) so we’re separated during this time (COVID) until the borders reopen. I am solid in my love for him and truly believe that is reciprocated (recent events on his part indicate a significant commitment that shows it). Will we be reunited in the near future? Will we both be ok with this COVID pandemic (he’s in healthcare). And, is there any sign of marriage in our future? Thanks for reviewing my request Tami – I read your column weekly and enjoy reviewing your answers. Thank you.” – Christie

I want to extend my deepest appreciation for you reading this article each week, your wonderfully kind words and for you writing in, hon.

I do foresee a brief window very late this month during which you and Timothy could see each other in person. If for some reason you are not able to make that happen, the next opportunity will not come until closer to August.

The Eight of Pentacles came up in looking at your situation which indicates you and Timothy need to make the best of this time apart physically to learn more about each other on a deeper mental and emotional level. Through your consistent efforts and much patience, I do see that this shared romantic connection will culminate in marriage, but probably not for another two years.

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“I find myself alone in isolation, I really want to know if I’m going to have a partner in life again soon?” – Debbie

Debbie, I am seeing through the reversed Nine of Pentacles that you have been working to distract yourself with work/business and other life interests in an effort to avoid matters of love. Through this time alone and before the pandemic, I see that keeping to yourself socially has had a somewhat negative effect on your self-worth.

Once you get your mind right and start making yourself get out and be with other people, it will not take long for a potentially significant romantic partner to enter your life. But this will take focused and determined efforts on your part. Get out. See and be seen. But be very selective as to where you go to meet new people. This pertains to friends and potential love interests, both.

“My first child will be born by, or before May 14th. A baby girl. However, I’m not with her father. We’ve been rather distant my whole pregnancy as far as communicating. I feel stressed and upset thinking of when she’s here that her father won’t be a dad to her the way he should. I’m not perfect either. This situation weighs on my heart in a negative way. I want these bad feelings to go away when I think of her father. I know it’s not right, and i feel like a mean person. Can you draw a card, please. Thank you, and stay safe.💚” – Jade

Hon, it is sometimes quite difficult for a man to develop any kind of attachment to an unborn baby and the reasons for this vary. Until now, the distance has been between you and the father as the baby is not really a factor for him as yet, not until she is actually born.

That does not mean once she is born he will be able to form an attachment to her, but I urge you to give him that chance. In fact, I hope that you always keep the lines of communication open between you and the father with regard to your shared child no matter what may happen between you and him.

The Queen of Swords indicates that you will most likely be on your own for the most part in raising your daughter. But I feel you have it within you to do that. This card also suggests as I did above in keeping the lines of communication open between yourself and the father, encourage a relationship between him and his daughter, but you must also have clear boundaries as to the shared connection you have with him. I suggest you limit it solely to co-parenting no matter how tempted you may be to try again with him. The end result will be the same.

It will be difficult to not have occasional bad thoughts of him as your daughter grows up and he chooses to not always be there for her. I do feel that he will be somewhat involved, but maybe not to the extent you desire.

In time, you will be able to move on and allow someone new into your life and I see you eventually being able to build a nice little happy family with a new love. For now, focus on being the best mother you can for your sweet baby.

“Dear Tami. Thank you for offering this service to those of us who sometimes need guidance. I have recently found myself in need of your help because I am early in an unplanned pregnancy and have very little support system. The father is already with another woman and I do not want him back at all as I learned my lesson. But I want him involved in the baby’s life. What do I have to do to get Roger (the father) to be more involved and on the same page as me. Without crossing boundaries on being together? Thank you in advance!” – Lori

Lori, I strongly suggest that you try to include Roger in doctor appointments at the very least. If he declines, that is on him. But do keep him informed even if he does not respond or acknowledge your attempts. Outside of that, there is not much you can do until the baby is born.

As I wrote above to Jade, It is often quite difficult for men to form any kind of bond with their own unborn child and for a few reasons. The main one is simply “out of sight, out of mind” in that most men are visual creatures. If they cannot actually lay eyes and hands on the baby, it is difficult for them to really accept the reality. Also, if he does not see you every day, then he is not aware of your growing belly and all of the little kicks as well as morning sickness (which sadly is not limited to the mornings).

Another reason it is difficult for men to form that bond is because some women simply choose to not include them in doctor appointments or with regular progress reports and shopping for all the fun baby stuff, especially when the parents are not together as a couple. Some men may question the paternity of the unborn child, this is only made worse by supposedly well-meaning friends and family members feeding their insecurities and doubts.

Once the baby is born, it is much easier to include the father. The main thing is to understand and accept that the biological father is 100% an equal parent. Invite him to the birth and encourage him to be involved to the extent that you are comfortable. Allow him permission in the nursery while still in the hospital.

Upon returning home with your new bundle of joy, send him regular photos, videos and updates unless and until he specifically requests you to stop. I strongly encourage you to involve his mother or the woman most prominent in his life, as well. A sneaky little side trick is to provide this woman with framed photos that she can display in her home and he must see whenever he visits her. That is a subtle subliminal message to him and a frequent reminder of his responsibilities.

As the baby gets older, he deserves unsupervised time with his own child … just as much as you get unless there is a court order stating otherwise or he is proven to be untrustworthy in some way.

Just do not make it all about money and never hold the baby hostage from him. Again, he is an equal parent to that child. Treat him as such.

To keep the lines from getting blurred with regard to anything personal between the two of you, just make it clear from this point forward where you stand as far as any kind of romantic connection with him. The instant you feel he may be slipping and crossing those boundaries, give him a gentle reminder of his new role in your life: simply that of a co-parent.

Through the Six of Cups coming up for you, I see that this will ultimately be an amazing experience for you. I am also seeing that once the baby is here, he will step up in ways that may surprise you. Just be patient, keep up your efforts at involving him despite the rejection you may feel. I seriously think it will be worth it in the end, especially for your baby.

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2 Comments

  1. The first to stories hit real close, as I have also been wondering if my ex-boyfriend is coming back to me.

    1. The best course of action for anyone in a similar situation is to act and live as if the former love will not return. Take that time to heal and let go of past hurts. Through doing this, you will either be in a good place to meet someone new or in a better place to welcome back your lost love. You will benefit either way, hon.
      Blessings.
      Tami/Tamara
      x827

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