Tami Time

Tami Time: Understanding Choice, Depression and Suicide

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Tami Time: Psychic Tamara answers your questions

Every week I deal with questions from readers and try to help them resolve their issues by drawing a tarot card and reading what it means for them. If you would like to submit your question to me, email me at TamiTime@7thSensePsychics.com.

Quite frequently, I write about the different choices each of us makes and how those choices can have a ripple effect through not only our lives, but the lives of those close to us. But sometimes, choices are made for us, long before we take so much as our first breath of life. This week, we hear from Gloria who is trying to understand what she considers a choice made by her own daughter.

Along with Gloria, we hear from Jolene who keeps dreaming of colored snakes and more recently her deceased best friend, Jane struggles with sticking by her man as he is fully immersed in depression, Jessica is completely distraught over the loss of her boyfriend to suicide last month.

“I am sending you because maybe you can help me understand . My daughter has stopped talking to me .I can’t go into the long story but the fall out came when I asked her if she could walk me through her decision to lead a gay lifestlye. Not that I mind I just want to understand . But she won’t open up to me .
She got so emotional she started crying .That I just didn’t get . So I’m here Puzzled . Can you help me?” – Gloria

Gloria, I received and read both of your emails this past week and am so glad you wrote in. Yours is a situation that I encounter frequently. Normally, there is about a month lag between when I receive an email and when the reading/answer is posted on the site due to so many questions coming in. But even before I received your second email, I could feel in your energy that this situation simply could not wait. I feel your pain. I feel your daughter’s pain and your granddaughter sometimes feeling caught in the middle, but more importantly, I sense your overwhelming desire and need to understand your daughter’s lifestyle.

You wrote in your first email that you talk with your daughter’s daughter (your granddaughter) but only when you reach out to her. I implore you, please keep doing that. Keep reaching out and working to keep those lines of communication open. Even if you feel all the effort falls to you, it simply must be done.

Now, for the crux of your emails, hon. Your daughter is not choosing to be gay.

Since the beginning of humans on earth, some people have found themselves physically attracted and emotionally drawn to members of the same sex. It was much more accepted during early Roman times before mainstream religion and Catholicism began to spread around the world.

Since then, greatly misguided, but well-meaning persons have made it their life’s mission to make the world believe that homosexuality is a choice. But, Gloria, it simply is not.

There are some people who know they are gay from the time they are able to first pick up a GI Joe or a Barbie doll – although that is not an indicator, it is just an example of how young some people can be when they understand it. Others could be well into their 70’s before they fully understand and accept their own sexuality.

For some people, it is not the gender itself that attracts them, but rather a specific person who just makes them feel whole and who happens to be the same sex. That is quite often the case with older persons who find themselves in same sex relationships because it is about so much more than the sex.

Of course, there are a vast majority for whom the attraction to members of the same sex is primarily about the sexual interaction. But, again, it is rarely a choice. Just as you have always been naturally attracted to men physically, so too are many other people naturally attracted to members of their same sex.

The card I drew for you, hon, was the Page of Cups, reversed. This card speaks of emotional immaturity and being open to new ideas. I legit choose these cards at random, but Spirit always seems to send me the right card.

You are not at all emotionally immature, hon, but rather a product of your generation; a mindset resulting from generations of misunderstanding and conditioning. A generation that fears the unknown and that which they do not understand. A generation ruled by the Bible and threats and promises of hell and heaven, respectively.

When you tried talking with your daughter before, the tears and the silence were a result of you continually referring to her lifestyle as a choice. She desperately needs for you to understand that she did not choose this. She did not choose to be “different” or to let you down in any way.

Something else I hope you come to understand, Gloria, is that your daughter’s lifestyle has nothing at all to do with you or anything that you may or may not have done as she was growing up. Her lifestyle is all about her and what truly makes her happy, what fills her soul and feeds her spirit.

But it is not a choice.

Story continues below…

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“I hope this email finds you well and safe. I don’t usually like to reach out because I know you probably get a million questions but I’m praying you will stumble upon my Email to give me clarity on something I been dreaming about for a while. There are some things I can leave unanswered but only because I dream constantly and I can remember almost all of my dreams, but tell me why I can’t remember what I ate for breakfast on most days lol.
I have strong dreams that I can feel the smell of things, taste and they always feel so strong that I don’t believe for a minute they were just a dream. For a while I been dreaming of snakes, they are clear in mind. I dream of colored snakes mostly, like red, bright green, silver and black.
The most recent dream effected me the most because my best friend passed away last year, she is in my dreams a lot and she appeared in this recent dream with a huge black snake that felt really scary. So I wanted to know why I constantly dream of snakes, and my best friend?
If you were able to reach my Email thank you so much. I greatly appreciate you and what you do. Stay safe and much love.” – Jolene

Snakes tend to get a bad rap from being indicative of persons not to be trusted speaking with a forked tongue to the curse placed on women resulting from Eve’s actions in the Garden of Eden. Quite often, snakes in a dream are omens of bad things to come.

Sometimes, though, dreaming of snakes takes on a somewhat significant positive meaning. For instance, red snakes are often a good omen. You may need to overcome an obstacle or two to get there, but the red snake indicates a better overall situation ahead. Silver snakes are indicative of new ideas and increased creativity. But dreaming of a black snake is often indicative of a looming negative or outright dangerous situation.

The Ace of Swords came up for you, Jolene, indicating a breakthrough and mental clarity. There are messages in your dreams and by keeping some kind of notes on the main aspects of each dream may well lead you to a thorough understanding of that message … a breakthrough.

Not knowing how your best friend passed, these dreams could be a warning so you could take measures to ensure the same thing that happened to her does not befall you. Alternatively, the dreams could mean that she is there standing beside you as you face any adverse or seemingly insurmountable circumstances. Either way, she is there to help you. Take comfort in that. In your waking hours, call out to her and speak aloud asking her what it is she feels you need to know right now.

“I need to know if I should continue to stand by my man while he is going through a battle with depression. No one else is there for him except for me. He keeps pushing me away though. And if I should stick with him, how do I help him? I am in love with him but it is very stressful on me. What should I do?” – Jane

Hon, it takes an incredibly strong and dedicated person to stand by someone who is truly seriously clinically depressed. Few people would blame you for walking away and those who do most likely are on the outside looking in and not living the struggle as you have been every single day.

The card that came up for you today, Jane, was the reversed Seven of Pentacles which speaks quite simply of “one day at a time.” That is how it is when dealing with clinically depressed persons. For the person in the throws of deep depression, it is sometimes more a matter of one hour at a time rather than a day at a time.

Please understand that your man is not intentionally pushing you away. In fact, more often than not, he does not even realize he is doing it. To some extent, it is his subconscious testing you to see if you will continue to stand by him. Other times, he is trying to protect you from the worst of it, yet other times, he just wants or needs to be alone.

He desperately needs professional help, but this is not something you can force upon him unless he attempts or seriously threatens suicide. Then the authorities can step in and place him on a three-day psych hold. Sadly, the only thing you can really do for him is to simply be there. He will not be open to anyone’s advice nor will he respond to threats of you leaving if he doesn’t get help because you would only be proving what he believes in that no one will ever be there for him.

Clinical depression is a dark, very lonely and horrifying place. I know as I have been living with it every single day of my life since a young child. We know people want to help us. We know help is available to us. But reaching out and grabbing hold of that help is something that very few of us can actually do.

Again, if you choose to walk away, none of those who truly matter will fault you, hon.

“Hi my name is Jessica Ive been struggling with the loss of my boyfriend he killed his self on july 1st 2020 its been hard for me to deal with because we had just got into a big fight i left on bad terms with him. He left me messages telling me he was gonna do it . i heard them after . i want to know why and if he forgives me ? I also want to know is he here stuck because i keep feeling his presense and smelling him.” – Jessica

I am so very terribly sorry for your loss, hon. I cannot even imagine how you must feel, especially after receiving the messages after the fact. But something you desperately need to understand is that there was probably little, if anything you could have done to stop him. You absolutely MUST let go of that guilt, hon. Maybe the card I pulled for you will help you to better understand why things happened as they did.

Your card was Death and while the Death card rarely indicates actual death, there are times such as this when it does. Again, that is rare. But this card tells me that your boyfriend was determined to take his own life then or later if someone had intervened. For some people, the pain is just simply too much. When such people get the solution (suicide) in their head, it is next to impossible to change their minds. Rather doing so is only prolonging the inevitable.

Something else you need to know is that your boyfriend is not stuck, rather he is not quite ready to let go of you. His spirit or energy is with you often and you most likely really are smelling him. He truly loved you to the best that he was able given the darkness he was living in. There is nothing for him to forgive as things happened just as they were intended to happen. When you find yourself alone, speak aloud to him. Tell him how you feel. He has already made his presence known to you. Acknowledge it and know that he finally feels so much better and that his love for you has transcended his passing.

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