The Art Of Rejecting With Grace
I probably use this sentence a bit too much, but the dating scene is dark and full of horrors, right? People tend to hide more and more behind screens and nowadays, confusion rules over our love-lives more often than not, particularly when we are seeking a partner.
However, when we are on the other side, when we are the ones who don’t have an interest, we sometimes forget how it feels to be ghosted, or what a hard time to we have when we are left to just “get the message” after our texts are left unanswered quite a few times.
And, let’s face it! Rejecting someone is uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel great to turn down a person who has shown an interest in us, and we are usually trying to avoid hurting them with our words. But when does this become too insensitive? Blocking someone from our reach is very easy to do, but at some point, it is interesting to remember that we want clarity when we are the ones waiting.
So… How to handle a situation where you are being showered with interest from a person you’ve seen a couple of times? Or even when for them, that first date was the best thing to ever happen, and for us it was just a “meh”?
Story continues below…
Here are a few examples of things you can say that are assertive, compassionate and grateful and will speak volumes of the sort of person that you are.
Keys:
- Don’t be afraid to say no.
- Be clear. Do not leave a door open, particularly when you are crystal clear about the fact that it’s not a door you have any intention to cross.
- Be kind. Highlight a positive point of the person.
- Don’t go into too much detail about the reasons why you don’t want to continue on seeing this person or why you don’t want to have a second date.
- If the situation goes out of control or the person cannot take it with grace, then block. You’ve given your answer already.
Let’s say for the sake of the argument, that you’ve gone on a first day with someone you don’t want to repeat with. And next morning you wake up to a text like this:
“Hello gorgeous! I had the loveliest time last night. Can’t wait to see you again!”
Instead of replying something along the lines of “I’m going to Madagascar tomorrow but I’ll call you back when I come back!” here’s what you can try.
“Morning X! The restaurant we went to was really great and I really enjoyed your anecdote about X! You really made me laugh! Nonetheless, I don’t think we should go on a second date, for I didn’t really feel that chemistry I need to see a person under a “date” light. It’s been great to meet you, though, and I wish you the best.”
This sort of answer shows that you’re a considerate person, kind and respectful for someone else’s time and feelings. Enough for thinking that they are deserving of your honesty and an answer.
Sibyl’s Verdict
What do you think? Is it too harsh? Too soft? What is your approach when you don’t really like someone? Let me know in the comments.
Psychic Sibyl is a Tarot and Lenormand reader and mentor with vast experience in the Occult. Her calling is to guide others through the most turbulent times in life as well as provide answers and most importantly, raise questions. For a psychic reading from Sibyl visit her profile page.
Thank you! ☺
I think your response is decent and sincere. I am like that for the most part; but there are times when I’ve had to block and not because the person was unkind as such but because I’d get frisky and suggestive messages which I found kind of inappropriate and as if they still wanted an ongoing rapport. I would avoid ghosting anyone who wanted a second date but must say I’ve done it in the past and always feel guilty about those times.
I’m never rude I always try to consider the other persons feelings…Ive been Ghosted it’s a terrible and cold feeling! There is no closer it’s sad and unsettling?