Life & Love, Top Stories

The “It’s All About Me!” Attitude

inner child

Your Divine Self and Your Inner Child

When you make a decision, say or do something that gives you a good feeling about yourself, then your divine self is patting you on the back. It may not be an easy decision for you, it may even be a controversial decision but ultimately if you feel good about what has transpired, then you are on the right track.

The ego (Inner Child) will try to trick you into thinking that feeling self-righteous is the same thing. This is where working on your Muchness and having an authentic personal “Tude” comes in handy. Knowing you have the right to think what you want and do what you want because you are willing to take full responsibility for those thoughts and actions.

I am not talking about false pride or arrogance based on the need to be right, it is when you just know you have done the right thing for yourself and having compassion for all the participating characters.

This is where most people have the hardest time distinguishing between the Inner Child’s demand of “It’s All About Me” and the divine self’s “What About Me?” Here is the difference between these two emotions as they are deceptively very similar.

No one else matters

When the Inner Child is in the energy of “It’s All About Me, there is no YOU and I mean that seriously!” every action, every word, nicety, sacrifice, every moment of giving, loving, nurturing or buying is about manipulating the players in your life play to get the Inner Child’s needs met from outside of you.

Your life fills up with compromise, giving to get, resentment, jealousy, bitching and complaining about how no one seems to make you a priority in life. Whether done in suffering silence and you whine and complain in your mind or you are blasting everyone, the results are the same.

The passive version of this is the ultimate victim, being a wuss, whiny, manipulative, fawning, excessively shy, fearful. The anger always just bubbling under the surface.

These soft, passive/aggressive creatures have claws and they usually cover them up with major niceness.

The aggressive version is much easier to spot, as they are usually pains in the butt. They are always complaining about something, demanding, never satisfied, controlling, and laying blame with anyone who is a willing target. They do this so you feel guilty enough or emotionally beaten down to give them what they need. If you don’t, then you pay the price of judgment, criticism, sometimes rage and violence.

Either version is completely self-absorbed, every moment is about getting their needs met, as they truly believe the only way they can do that is from outside of themselves. I have had clients that steadfastly deny they program their actions to get and see themselves as completely selfless, giving and caring people and actually they are, but if you dig a little deeper, you find the resentment.

There is always a conditional price to be paid and that is where the buried anger comes from. You have to compromise in the giving to get, at the cost of your own nurturing. You usually find yourself always second or worse yet, last on everyone’s list. You are dependent on outside attachments to make you feel loved, safe, valued, worthy and nurtured by what you do for others.

That rule applies whether you are a passive or aggressive version of feeling invisible or whether you do it silently or screaming. It is still victim energy.

What about me?

The more harmonious version of the Inner Child’s needs being met is: “What About Me?” Now I know they sound as though they mean the same thing but they do not. This is where the ego gets tricky with you and tries to justify that it is ok to disregard and compromise your basic need of self-love, value and worthiness.

In other words, how do you honestly feel about yourself? Do you like who you are, do you like what you do, do you take care of your body with respect, honor and love, do you treat others as you would like to be treated? The list goes on and on.

The dark side of these needs is the closeted secrets that you hide behind, seen by others with masks of false righteousness, generosity and kindness. We are now seeing many secret closets opening with the new energy on earth. That energy of light is shining on the darkness that fear is creating very intensely now.

We see in the news many horrific, shameful and embarrassing details coming to light, being long hidden by religious, political and your friendly next-door neighbor. The dark truths exposed will leave you with no illusions about how you really feel within. If you are hiding dark fearful secrets, you are guaranteed there is a lot of self-hatred within you that cannot exist in this new light energy.

Regardless of what you have done and what secret you believe you need to hide, what only matters is how you feel about yourself and those secrets. The statement of “What About Me?” puts how YOU feel about yourself first and then you make all your choices from that place.

There is a reason when you are on an airplane and when the oxygen masks drop, they tell you to put yours on first and then the child next to you second. You must take care of yourself first before you can be of any help to others.

If you are not functioning from a place of strength and authenticity, you begin the dance of lying to yourself and others about your motives. If you live every day self-aware (“What About Me?”) and work at avoiding being in the self-absorbed (“It’s All About Me!”), then you are on the right track.

Live in this energy and there is no reason for dark hidden secrets as YOU are your own guardian of the closet gate!

Susan Z’s Verdict

The ego (Inner Child) lives at an emotional level of a 4-year-old. If you allow that 4-year-old to continuously make your emotional and self-worth choices for you by giving in to its temper tantrum of “If I don’t have this or get that immediately, I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!”, then you will never know the authenticity of peace and contentment with yourself, regardless of what you have or don’t have in your life. Embrace the concept that YOU are enough and “all that” and you will silence that needy feeling within you of lacking something or someone in your life to feel complete and loved.


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