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The “Not Enough” Relationship

not enough relationship

The “Not Enough” Relationship

There’s a special kind of relationship that drives people particularly crazy. Probably the sort of relationship that is the most draining and often, even destructive. This is what I call the “not enough”.

This is how it goes: They call you, they give you hints, they are there when you need them (most times, at least), they seem to care about you. It is not the kind of relationship where you are clearly chasing someone or trying to get their attention. You have their attention (again, most times!) but the relationship doesn’t make progress. Sometimes they take distance from you. Conversations about the future are avoided, but their actions show that they do care about you. What is happening then?

They do care about you, they don’t want to play with you, they may even love you, but… Not enough to make you their permanent partner.

This is complicated to assume from the perspective of a person who is all-in for someone else. If they care, what is failing? Is it something that you’re doing? Are you going too fast? Or perhaps you are not being clear? It’s nothing that you do. Sometimes, it just happens, and as difficult as it is, most often than not, it is the part who is totally invested who needs to take a different perspective.

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Some signs that you’re in a “not enough” relationship:

  1. They are really nice and invested with you, except when they have other plans.
  2. After a break-up, you two always end up getting back together, but it is you who has to initiate things. If you don’t go after them, they won’t re-appear.
  3. After an argument, you can go for days without knowing about them until you initiate contact.
  4. They won’t refuse physical intimacy but will never or seldom start it on their own.
  5. If you go for days without talking to them, they can manage it.
  6. Variant of number 5: They initiate a very friendly conversation after being without talking for a while, but they won’t mention that they have missed you or give importance to the fact that you haven’t talked.
  7. You have a great time together, they will be glad of making plans with you, but you can often feel that they give priority to making plans with others.
  8. They feel bad or undeserving when you do something overly romantic, although they don’t refuse the gesture.
  9. They have small gestures of appreciation, but they won’t do anything romantic per se.

What to do when you are stuck in this sort of relationship?

The answer in this case is hard to accept but simpler than it seems. They care about you, probably a lot, but not in the way you would like them to. While they don’t mind being in this “situationship” for a while, they don’t prioritize it and they are aware of its temporary nature.

(READ: Infidelity: Who’s Cheating Who?)

Sibyl’s Verdict

If you suspect that you are in a “not enough” relationship, it may be time to have an honest conversation and set some time aside to sit down with yourself and consider what is that you want for the long run. It may be time to put an end to things before everything gets more entangled. The good news is that, if you really want to, this sort of relationship often evolves into a great friendship after time!


Considering getting a psychic reading? We have carefully screened and selected a range of gifted, compassionate psychic readers to provide clarity and new insights into your life. Online psychics available 24/7.

Get A Psychic Reading ≫

 

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4 Comments

  1. Wow this was so on point for what’s going on in my life with this male partner of mine thanks so much I really truly needed to hear that ??

  2. This is exactly what my not yet ex husband does. He moved out a year and a half ago but hasn’t Initiated a divorce so I had hopes..he was just going through something and be back.
    I see it’s time for me to close this chapter even though I had high hope as this was our second marriage to each other with promises from him he would never leave .
    My heart is broken , all over again.