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Tips For Getting Back Into The Dating Scene


Tips For Getting Back Into The Dating Scene

We have all been in the position of being thrown back unprepared into the dating pool at least once in our life. Most of the angst comes from divorce and then suddenly being single again. But it can also apply to those who have been in long term relationships and suddenly find themselves without a partner.

Unless you have a social network of a zillion single friends that can easily hook you up with someone for your first foray out into the single world, it is overwhelming, you aren’t sure if the rules are the same and you are usually dealing with a different lifestyle than when you were free and single and could go out with anyone that caught your eye.

Since we are a species of partnership, after divorcing and everything calms down; you take that deep breath and emotionally, mentally and physically decide that you are ready to see what is out there in terms of spending time with who might have potential. Regardless of whether you are looking to remarry at some point or you have sworn that off and just would like the companionship, it can get pretty tricky when you first get out there again.

Doing some research with the divorce and dating experts, they have a few easy suggestions that doesn’t entail having to buy a whole new wardrobe, putting purple sparkles in your hair or leaning a new language. Just kidding! But when we think about getting out there again, that is how ridiculous and intimidating it feels sometimes.

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  1. Start dating when YOU feel you are ready and not before. Don’t let your friends talk you into a date with someone with the attitude that you have “get back on the horse if you fall off”.
  2. Date for the right reasons. If you miss male companionship, make sure you do not forget why you got divorced and only go out with someone because they have lots of things you might like about them.
  3. Dating sites are not the only avenue to meet someone in the tech age, although you should at least try it…. you never know. There are plenty of on-line club groups now that are focused on doing interesting things you might like to do. Meet-Up is a pretty good one.
  4. Get out and socialize. Even if it is with people you work with, married girlfriends or family. You raise the odds of meeting someone by chance and you might just enjoy yourself.
  5. OK, here it comes! Do a little sprucing up if it is called for. Sometimes a new haircut, a makeover or a change in your fashion look will do wonders when you are getting ready for that first date.
  6. Be yourself when you are presenting the new but a little older single lady. You have grown up! If you have to write down everything you like about yourself before your first date with someone, do it!
  7. Don’t stress over what to wear! You KNOW what you look good in and what is ‘meah’.
  8. Put your divorced ex in a drawer somewhere before you leave. You can have a little conversation as to why you are not with someone anymore but you will not get a second call with a blow by blow account of why you are single.
  9. Don’t let a younger age deter you from saying yes. In today’s dating world, no age rules apply anymore.
  10. Don’t be overly optimistic. Yes, I did say that after all the upbeat advice to new dating. Don’t expect too much from your first date or any date wearing rose colored glasses. We all have baggage and it is how well we handle them and show them is what makes good potential.
  11. Be honest about your history. If you have kids, make that known right from the start. If you are planning on moving out of the state in 2 months, give that up too. Remember, it is just a date!
  12. Try not to compare the person sitting across from you with your ex. We usually are attracted to the same type but by this time, you should know if they are like your ex because you have said no to any first date or you know there is not going to be a second.
  13. Last but most important! Give yourself a break! You are a little rusty at the whole dating game, so cut yourself some slack if you knocked the water over or called them by your ex’s name.

(READ: Why Women Stay with Cheating Men)

Susan Z’s Verdict

Dating is a bitch regardless of where you start keeping track, but one thing is for sure, the rules are always changing and nothing is ironclad. This is where the sayings of “being in the moment” and “just go with the flow” come in real handy. Keep that little mantra in your head, “it’s only a date” until it isn’t.

Considering getting a psychic reading? We have carefully screened and selected a range of gifted, compassionate psychic readers to provide clarity and new insights into your life. Online psychics available 24/7.

Get A Psychic Reading


Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine. (life cycles) Learn more at her website:

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