When You Lose Your Best Friend
I have been reading on my friend’s Facebook pages and in conversations, of losing friendships and some deliberate disconnecting from longtime acquaintances for various reasons. It is almost as though a purging of old energies is taking place, being painful and confusing to all of us. Some of us are losing long-time friends that we never expected to and some we are letting go by choice.
There are so many scenarios in losing a best friend, whomever that may be…. a friend you have been tight with for years now had a change in lifestyle or just plain shelf life. That friend could be your best female friend who you have shared all your secrets and pain with, a male friend who just gets you, your incredible four-legged companion, your partner, mother or sister. Whomever fills that space for you in your life, when it ends, with the exception of passing from this life, it is emotionally unexplainable.
Worse than losing a lover
In so many ways, losing a close friend is worse than losing a lover. Lovers come and go but friends are supposed to be there for you always, or so we like to believe. Friendship is a special kind of love that you assume will endure through anything. You never expect the one person you thought you could always depend on, to disappear without saying goodbye or through their actions, gives you reasons why you are no longer important in their life. The answer could be many things but mostly it is about change.
After searching for the usual information from the relationship experts, it turns out to be a slow and gradual process of letting go of what once was considered a daily or weekly interaction to a dark void in your heart where laughter, secrets, crying and sharing our deepest fears and hopes are now gone. Below are listed the fallout from losing that special best friend and some suggestions to heal that void.
Story continues below…
|Considering getting a psychic reading? We have carefully screened and selected a range of gifted, compassionate psychic readers to provide clarity and new insights into your life. Online psychics available 24/7.|
- What do you do with all the pictures and mementos from years of memories? You can burn them in anger which is satisfying for a split second but the heartache sneaks up on you again pretty fast. A healing approach is to throw away what is unimportant and find a box to put everything in it and stash it in the attic or basement. Out of sight but not destroyed, as those memories are part of your life too.
- You will feel uncomfortable and maybe even a little jealous when you hear of their “new friend(s)”. Open the door for new people to come into your life also to make new memories while still cherishing the old. Each new encounter from the past will get easier.
- If you have been “ghosted”, don’t carry the “why haven’t you called or texted me” too far. If you have not heard back from your long-time friend within two weeks, if they are not willing to talk things out with you, you must stop all communication for your own sense of well-being.
- The smallest memory will bring up the feelings of loss. Let the hurt flow through and then immediately turn your mind to something else. If you have to count backwards from 100 until the sadness goes, then do it!
- You will not know who to call your best friend, as you now do not have one. It may be the first time in your life you do not have a close confident and bestie that you could fall back on with love, family troubles or just personal self issues. Regardless of how you feel about it, you have been given an opportunity to learn how to become your own best friend. It is a strange place if you have never been there before but you may discover that you have some skill sets you were completely unaware of.
- What do you say when someone asks you about your ex-best friend who everyone knows they were your best friend forever? You won’t know how to answer because you don’t even know them anymore, so how can you tell someone else how she is doing? You will likely end up awkwardly explaining the end of your friendship to some extent and it will be a challenge for you not to go “there” and start placing blame, anger and that “bitch” mode.
- The missing of their companionship will be the worst. It is a different kind of hurt than a break-up boyfriend hurt, it is a sisterhood bond that is indescribable and irreplaceable. It’s a specific kind of loneliness that hits you like a wave of nausea and only time and forgiveness will heal it.
Susan Z’s Verdict
This is the time to focus on doing something wonderful for yourself. Take a rose petal tub soak, burn candles, read a great self-help book, play good music and/or have a good cry. Tears are the healing gift God gave us, let them flow and then put your big girl panties on and know you were and still are a great friend, regardless.
Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine. (life cycles) Learn more at her website: www.szrwhitewings.com