Who Are You Attracted To: Nice Guys Or Bad Boys?
Ok! Let’s be honest when we ask ourselves that question. Unless you have been cloistered in a nunnery school for the last 20 years, those bad boy looks and qualities are what makes us swoon!
In the feel good romantic GenX movies, the girl wants the bad boy, has her heart broken and then finally realizes her nice fella was there all along…but that’s the movies, girls. Of course, with the exception of Molly Ringwald’s 80’s movie, “Sixteen Candles.” Lol!
I think the answer to the above question is what your personal definition is of a bad boy and why you are attracted to them and what a nice guy is and why you are not. You might “like” a nice guy but you don’t feel that powerful “I just want to get all sweaty with this hunk!” attraction for “nice guys.” Ironically, even if a man is nice but you don’t feel that attraction for him – doing all the sweet things of pursuing you, doting on you and trying to spend time with you will actually make you feel LESS interested.
After consulting the internet relationship gurus, the one thing that stood out very clearly was that a definition of a “bad boy” versus a “nice guy” definitely drew the line between being mean and disrespectful as a bad boy and someone that you could walk all over as being the nice guy. Having made those distinctions of what is and what is not, here is what the experts have to say why women are naturally attracted to men who have that bad boy edge.
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Bad Boys Versus Nice Guys
- Bad boys don’t pretend and don’t change their personality to accommodate whomever is in the room. Nice guys pretend to be a lot nicer, sweeter, cooler or more charming than they actually are to increase the chances of women liking them. They act one way with friends and family and another around attractive women.
- Bad boys have authentic daring confidence around women. It doesn’t come from money, women, clothes, cars, cool houses, etc. Nice guys often fake their confidence with women which puts them on edge. Authentic confidence makes women feel a deeper attraction.
- Bad boys have attractive body language. He doesn’t slouch, hunch or communicate he’s insecure, unsure of himself, afraid of women or caring what anyone thinks. His body language communicates, “I am confident, attractive, sure of myself and I do what I want, get what I want and no one’s going to do sh*t about it.” Nice guys usually get fidgety and nervous around women and it shows in their body language which is a big turn off to most women unless they are looking for someone to mother.
- Bad boys aren’t afraid of rejection. They do things with purpose because they aren’t worried about what might happen, what she’ll think or how she’ll react. If it doesn’t go as he intended, the confident bad boy doesn’t make it a big deal. Nice guys, on the other hand, get weird and are afraid to grab her hand, pull her in, kiss her and get physical. The fear of rejection holds them back.
- Bad boys don’t need approval. They wake up in the morning and live their lives to make themselves happy.
They’re not focused on making women happy or seeking their approval. They don’t care whether or not they have the approval of their friends and family as long as they approve of themselves and that’s all that matters.
- Bad boys aren’t victims and they don’t feel sorry for themselves when challenging things happen. Bad boys suck it up, act like a man, push through it and move on. Nice guys whine, bitch and complain about what’s not fair, what went wrong and what’s not going their way.
- Bad boys are passionate and very intense about what they do with everything. They display more sexual energy and passion towards women they’re interested in. Women read erotic novels because they feature passionate and intense men that women DREAM of meeting. Look at ‘50 Shades of Grey.’ One of the most popular erotic novels ever written and the main character is the ultimate bad boy. He’s a bit intense and a sexual freak, but still a bad boy. Nice guys are always wondering if and when and how, when it comes to pleasing a woman, bad boys just go for it!
Susan Z’s Verdict
What the bottom line came out to be was having the best of both is the attraction that women want and will usually pick to stay with. Hey, this is not a bashing of the nice guys out there, what we are doing here is comparing what women are really attracted to. What women really WANT in a long-term relationship is a super nice guy with a really cool bad boy attitude and behavior. Works for me!
Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine. (life cycles) Learn more at her website: www.szrwhitewings.com