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Who Really Benefits from Forgiveness?

forgiveness

Who Really Benefits from Forgiveness?

Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison while hoping the other person dies. I do not know who said it, but I first heard that on the Oprah Winfrey show many, many years ago and that really speaks to me, even to this day.

Also, I am sure you have each heard it, “Forgive and forget.” People throw that phrase around so easily yet actually doing it is often one of the greatest struggles some of us ever face.

Over the years, I have come to see forgiveness as a gift. Not a gift for the one who wronged you, but rather a gift for yourself. Through forgiveness, you are freeing yourself of anger, frustration and the need for retribution.

Not forgiving someone results in you dwelling on the injustice or wrong that you suffered. Dwelling on this breeds even more negativity and anger as we create that which we think. Our thoughts, whatever we focus on in our minds, work much like a magnet in that it only draws more of the same to us.

When you are constantly focused on the wrong you suffered, not only are you leaving yourself open to fall victim again, but you are simply stewing in your own anger which will ultimately blow up in some way. More often than not, it just is not pretty when that happens.

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In Texas recently, there was a huge nationally covered trial of a white female police officer who shot and killed one of her neighbors, an unarmed black man. The offender claimed she had entered the wrong apartment and was startled by him. She even admitted that her intent when pulling the trigger was to kill him.

The officer lost her job, was found guilty of murder by a jury then sentenced to ten years in a Texas prison. At her sentencing, a brother of the victim stated, on the stand, that he forgives the woman for killing his brother. He even asked the judge, twice, if he could give her a hug. The video and still photos of the two embracing have made the rounds on the internet and touched countless individuals.

Each and every one of us should always strive for that kind of forgiveness, both as victim and offender.

When you are unable to forgive, you are dooming yourself to live in the past. You simply cannot move forward in life if you are always looking back. You are also affording that other person energies and control over you that they simply do not deserve.

Not being able to forgive only breeds hate and mistrust within you. This hate and mistrust are far-reaching and will eventually affect every single area of your life; personally, professionally, even in your relationship with your own children. The darkness and negativity are all-consuming, not to mention quite heavy. You simply cannot progress and move forward under such a heavy weight.

It takes a tremendously strong person to offer up full and unconditional forgiveness, but it is necessary. Forgetting, on the other hand, is a whole other story!

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6 Comments

  1. I have heard this a million timed. In other words accept the shit other people have done to you and kiss their ass for doing it to you. No fricken thanks. Screw that bs!

    1. It is all a matter of perspective and personal choice, Fawn. I very much appreciate you taking time to read the posting and comment. It truly pains me to see how badly you have been hurt.
      Blessings.
      Tamara
      x827

  2. I agree with Fawn I cant for give the hurt that some one has done to me my own Granddaughter has hurt me with her words so do you except me to put up with this kind off behaver from her as she has no respect for me what’s so ever I was brought up to never chick your elders And this hurts me because I have always had respect for my mother and father

    1. June, the situation with your granddaughter is not a matter for forgiveness. No, it is more about poor raisin’ and someone maybe needing a good butt bustin’. What she is doing to you does not merit forgiveness and is not at all the kind of situation I am talking about in this 7thsense story. Sadly, until someone steps up and holds your granddaughter accountable, her behavior will only get worse because all of those around her are saying it is acceptable through their silence.

      Thank you for taking time to read my story and commenting.

      Blessings.

      Tamara
      x827

  3. I want to start by saying that I feel all of these wonderful, happy, and positive experiences ahead of me starting this year out and it is completely opposite from last year. I know wonderful and positive things are going to happen for me this year..dont know how I know, I just do. That being said, I have been learning about reviving my feminine energy and making positive personal changes that are going so well right now. When reading this I saw it laid out clearly before me the final thing to do… and that was let go and forgive the man that crushed my heart last year. I now know all of my energy I was feeding to him trying to make it work but I am simply not the one for him…not at this day and not at this time no matter what I do. Once finished reading, I looked up into the sky and simply said out loud “I forgive you”. The feeling of letting go all the worry, anger, anxiety, sadness, and thoughts of not being good enough were very moving.
    I hope no other gives their power away as I did because it was a dark and lonely road. Thank you for writing this and I truly believe it was solely for my benefit to forgive what he had done. Now on to a spectacular year!!!

    Best wishes to all!

    1. Your comment actually brought tears to my eyes, Chandra. I am so thrilled that you were able to let go of so much darkness and negativity. I hope nothing but the best for you going forward. Thank you for sharing!
      Blessings.
      Tamara
      x827

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