{"id":11094,"date":"2019-03-13T18:10:51","date_gmt":"2019-03-13T18:10:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.7thsensepsychics.com\/stories\/the-number-one-reason-for-relationship-failure\/"},"modified":"2019-03-13T18:10:51","modified_gmt":"2019-03-13T18:10:51","slug":"the-number-one-reason-for-relationship-failure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.7thsensepsychics.com\/stories\/the-number-one-reason-for-relationship-failure\/","title":{"rendered":"The Number One Reason For Relationship Failure"},"content":{"rendered":"

The Number One Reason For Relationship Failure<\/h2>\n

When we read the statistics on the ratio of relationship failures, they look pretty grim. About 41% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages. What is the common denominator that brings happy relationships to a stop and end? One simple energetic personality imbalance that unfortunately most of us have, self-abandonment!<\/p>\n

Shouldn\u2019t people get better at picking someone after a few fails? The answer to that is that it\u2019s not about the partner you choose, it\u2019s about the person you take with you into the relationship. And that\u2019s YOU! As the old saying goes; \u201cwherever you go, there you are are!\u201d You bring your issues from relationship to relationship, recreating those unhappy circumstances with someone else. You\u2026.are the one consistent equation in every relationship. If you have one failed relationship after another, it\u2019s time to look at what basis you make your choices from. <\/p>\n

You came into life expecting to be loved. But if your parents or caregivers didn\u2019t know how to love, or see their gift in your beautiful essence, then one of two things happened:<\/p>\n

1. You realized these people didn\u2019t know how to love you. <\/strong>You understood that they were just limited in their ability, but you knew this didn\u2019t mean anything about you. You were aware that whether or not someone loved you and cared for you was no reflection of your worth. You were confident in yourself, even in the face of rejection. Your love for yourself is self-contained from within. More than likely, however, this didn\u2019t happen. Instead, like most of us, this happened:<\/p>\n

2. You concluded that there must be something wrong with you.<\/strong> Even if you had very loving parents, you would have experienced some amount of pain. And if, when you didn\u2019t feel the love, you decided there was something wrong with you, then you started feeling very uncomfortable feelings\u2014depression, anxiety, emptiness, and anger. Those are big feelings that a little body didn\u2019t know how to handle. <\/p>\n

Story continues below…<\/em><\/p>\n

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Then you grew up and discovered something amazing called romantic love. \u201cAha!\u201d the little child (controlling ego) inside you thought, \u201cTHIS person will give me the love I didn\u2019t get.\u201d In searching for that perfect partner, what you\u2019re really doing is looking for someone to give you the perfect love your parents never could. You think if you can just get your partner to give you this perfect love, you\u2019ll always feel okay. And this belief causes destructive behavior such as addictive neediness, inability to see your own self-worth, insecure jealousy and many more behaviors of desperation.<\/p>\n

Because you\u2019ve self-abandoned and abdicated personal responsibility for your feelings, you feel an urgency to make sure your partner gives you what you\u2019re not giving yourself. You go into control mode, but not in the ways you might think. Control can show up in the form of being overly nice and accommodating or in being possessive and hyper vigilant. You can control by being overly compliant and by caretaking. In each of these cases, you\u2019re trying to make sure the other person doesn\u2019t reject you. You think that by doing all these things, you won\u2019t experience the feelings that go along with believing you\u2019re not lovable.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, under the universal \u201cLaw of Attraction\u201d, when two people haven\u2019t healed their self-abandonment, you attract the exact level of self-love that you carry for yourself. NOT a strong foundation to build a long and loving relationship. In trying to get love and avoid pain, both partners will engage in a variety of controlling behaviors that inevitably lead to fighting, disconnection, and infidelity.<\/p>\n

As each partner tries to get more and more love from the other to feel secure, they end up pushing each other away, creating even more anxiety, emptiness, and anger. That is why the first rule in any happy relationship is how much you like and love yourself. It\u2019s very important to learn how to create our own sense of worth rather than giving that power to your partner.<\/p>\n

When you make your partner responsible for making you feel loved, you\u2019re going to constantly \u201cpull\u201d on your partner. You will place an impossible burden on them to take away all your uncomfortable feelings. As a result, they will feel pressured, smothered, and controlled. And even if your partner does try to love you unconditionally, there\u2019s nowhere for that love to land. If you don\u2019t love yourself first, you will not be able to recognize or fully receive someone else\u2019s love. You won\u2019t feel worthy of the love you so desperately want.<\/p>\n

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Susan Z’s Verdict<\/h2>\n

Your love for yourself provides the foundation for you to be able to receive someone else\u2019s love in your heart and soul. We cannot connect with others when we\u2019re disconnected from ourselves and we cannot share love with others when we\u2019re not loving ourselves. Do whatever check list you have to do and find that big un-loveable wound you have been carrying around and then do whatever is necessary to heal it from within. That\u2019s what makes a happy relationship.<\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Number One Reason For Relationship Failure When we read the statistics on the ratio of relationship failures, they look pretty grim. About 41% of first marriages end in divorce, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages. What is the common denominator that brings happy relationships to a stop and end? 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